‘In the losing is the learning’: Dillon Gabriel’s biggest fan sees maturation in OU’s flawed 2022 season, hope for 2023

When Dillon Gabriel strolled through the Walk of Champions before his first game at Oklahoma, his mother, Dori, placed a red carnation lei around his neck as he passed down Jenkins Avenue in his business suit.

Dori says that Sept. 3 moment is the memory she’ll cherish most from a season that, through ups and downs, has matured her son as a quarterback, leader and man who loves OU as much, if not more, than any place he has been.

“That red lei, to me, symbolizes everything,” Dori said of the floral arrangement that’s symbolic in Hawaiian culture of a complete circle and community support, with red carnations specifically reserved for graduations and other important milestones.

“I mean, when you think about it, it’s the O for OU. Seeing him be so proud of this university in just this short period of time is what I'll take with me for this season, and how deeply he loves this program and his brothers and his coaches. That, to me, means everything.”

Gabriel will lead OU (6-6) against No. 13 Florida State (9-3) in the Cheez-It Bowl at 4:30 p.m. Thursday (ESPN), concluding his first season in Norman back in Orlando, a place his mother acknowledged has produced several epiphanies along her son’s journey.

During a youth tournament at ESPN’s Wide World of Sports complex, Dillon’s father, Garrett Gabriel, first concluded his then-12-year-old son could become a major college quarterback. Gabriel was eventually recruited from Mililani, Hawaii, by now-OU offensive coordinator Jeff Lebby, and played his first three college seasons at Central Florida in Orlando before transferring to OU.

This week, Gabriel told reporters in Florida he was excited to see old friends and reminisce on his time at UCF. Yet, he’s focused on helping the Sooners finish their vacillating first season under head coach Brent Venables with a convincing bowl victory.

Gabriel, who threw for 2,925 yards and 24 touchdowns this season and was named Big 12 Newcomer of the Year, has said he will wait until after the bowl to announce his intentions for next fall. His mother, in an extended conversation with OU Daily, spoke optimistically about her son’s evolution at Oklahoma and what it could mean for his future there.

“As much as we invested ourselves at UCF and Orlando, in just a year I feel like we've been in Oklahoma forever,” Dori said. “And I say that because of the deep relationships he's already established in Oklahoma. It feels like the journey has been just as long there. I believe it speaks to the people of the program, the community. And while it wasn't the year that we wanted it to be in terms of win-loss record, I have seen the most growth, as a mom, in Dillon, than I have over the three years he was at UCF.”

Dori, who flew to Orlando to celebrate Dillon’s 22nd birthday on Wednesday before the bowl, was also able to attend six games during the regular season. Through good times and bad, Dillon’s growth on and off the field has become evident.

Gabriel led the Sooners as they rolled through nonconference play with solid wins over UTEP, Kent State and Nebraska, but hit an early snag with their 48-41 loss to Kansas State to begin Big 12 play. Gabriel took the loss incredibly hard in the immediate aftermath, but owned up to the throws he missed and vowed to improve.

“I felt as a mom, and as a parent, more relaxed in that, even though it was very disappointing,” Dori said. “That's where I saw the growth, was he was able to quickly move through that emotion, and then move to the next game. And that growth is so exciting to see, because he's not wallowing in it. He's taking accountability for it.

"He wears his heart on his sleeve and makes no apology for it. He owns it. He knows what he could do better. I don't love losing, don't mistake me. We're a competitive family. We love winning. But in the losing is the learning.”

Although Dori isn’t on the practice field with her son every week, she says she can hear the accountability in his voice, including when she eavesdrops on his X’s and O’s phone calls with his father.

She also saw maturation in how Gabriel handled recovering from a concussion caused by a scary helmet-to-helmet hit in OU’s Oct. 1 loss to TCU. Dillon let his girlfriend take his phone away, and completely shut down for 48 hours to rest.

Dori and other family members attended the Red River Showdown against Texas on Oct. 8 knowing Dillon wouldn’t play while recuperating.

“It wasn't an easy game to watch, but what that did is made him reflect on how he doesn't take any moment for granted,” Dori said of the 49-0 rout. “That being on that field is an honor and a privilege. And in that moment of just sitting out that week, he reflected on that, and it gave him an even deeper desire to play and be QB1 for this great university. I think those moments, as hard as they are and disappointing as they are, they make us realize the blessings and opportunities we have in front of us.

“And that's still a part of the growth that I see in him as a man, is just now the level of respect for the game, and then taking advantage of every moment when you can play when you are healthy, to do all that you can do to perform and to make an impact and to win football games. That desire gets deeper.”

Gabriel dominated Kansas in his return the next week, tallying 403 passing yards and three total touchdowns, showing how crucial he is to OU’s success.

In subsequent games, criticism on social media grew as the Sooners’ offense sputtered. Previously with only one interception on the season, Gabriel threw three picks in a 38-35 loss to Baylor. He was held under 200 passing yards against Iowa State and West Virginia.

But none of the outside noise diminished how invested Gabriel was quickly becoming in OU. On Dori’s visits, she would observe her son’s pleasant interactions with locals who greeted them at restaurants and was heartened when fans recognized her at games.

“When they come up to me and just say, ‘I met your son, and the character part of him’… nevermind the stats, nevermind the win-losses, nevermind the passing yardage or completions, for me, it's that they say that he's good people,” Dori said. “And that's more lasting to me than the hundreds or thousands of negative comments of criticism, is they know my son.

“When they say those things, I know they know who he is and he's shown them a glimpse of who he is and how deep he loves Oklahoma, and how hard he wants to work to deliver them the victories he wants. He wants that more for them than he does for himself.”

Gabriel’s love for OU was obvious in his emotion after leading a 28-13 Bedlam win over Oklahoma State. He explained afterward it stemmed from his happiness for his teammates’ success given all they’d poured into the up-and-down season.

During the Sooners’ regular season finale against Texas Tech, Gabriel put together one of the best performances of his career, slinging for a season-high 449 yards and a career-high six touchdown passes. However, in overtime, he took a shot from a defender that knocked the wind out of him, sidelining him for a play and derailing OU’s drive. Following a missed field goal, the Sooners fell 51-48.

In the visiting tunnel of Jones AT&T Stadium, Gabriel embraced Dori before heading to the bus. Despite the letdown, both were in a good headspace and Dori said she could tell her son had already accepted the loss and was ready to move on.

As he reflected on it all this week, Gabriel expressed gratitude for everything his Oklahoma experience has wrought.

“I really had no expectations going in, other than just trusting God and the path he has for me,” Gabriel told reporters in Orlando. “Just super blessed to be in this position and learned a lot this year about myself, but also the journey of life and the ups and downs. Just grateful for the whole journey, because I actually feel I have gotten stronger and learned a lot through this process, and just to be standing here is a blessing.”

Lebby also praised Gabriel’s growth and his consistent leadership of the locker room despite a season that hasn’t progressed how they’d envisioned. He said he expects Gabriel to play his best against FSU, then concerning a potential return next season, they’ll “go from there.”

Jackson Arnold, a five-star signee and the No. 4-ranked quarterback in the 2023 recruiting class, will join the Sooners in January, but has expressed interest in spending his first year in Norman as Gabriel’s understudy. Even as Venables labeled Arnold a “foundational player” for the Sooners’ future last week, he mentioned Gabriel's character and leadership qualities Arnold can absorb.

While OU’s offense is losing running back Eric Gray, tackles Anton Harrison and Wanya Morris — and likely tight end Brayden Willis — to the NFL, it will return an encouraging cast.

Freshman running back Jovantae Barnes and sophomore receiver Jalil Farooq both emerged this season and steady fifth-year senior receiver Drake Stoops has quietly announced he is coming back for a sixth year. The Sooners are awaiting the decision of leading receiver Marvin Mims, who is gauging his NFL draft opportunity.

Dori looks back on it all and sees a team, led by Dillon, that grew closer together through the highs and lows when they could’ve splintered. The Gabriels, like all Sooners fans, had hoped for more immediate success at the start of the Venables era, but in the end they saw positives in how 2022 played out.

Furthermore, the Gabriels believe the relationships forged this fall can be the foundation of greater successes next season in completing what Dori called “unfinished business.”

“When you look at how close some of those games are, we're not far off, the program is not far off,” Dori said. “And that's what we're so excited for in 2023, is taking all those learnings that we had from this year, and then jumping into 2023.”