Theta Dempsey understood the important things in life: community, travel, Broadway musicals, reading and a good grilled cheese.

Dempsey served as the OU Parking and Transportation director from 1995 until her retirement in 2010. Debbie Copp, age 67 and retired, who worked in OU’s athletic department for 44 years, was Dempsey’s partner. 

“She left this world a whole lot better than she found it,” Copp said.

Copp, who was working on her master’s in education in 1983, met Dempsey through a mutual friend. Dempsey was looking to get more involved on campus through different student organizations and activities, but when they met for lunch they found they had a lot in common.

“We found that we really enjoyed each other’s company. We liked the same kind of things,” Copp said. “We could sit and talk for hours, or she could sit and listen for hours. She was not always as talkative as I was.”

Dempsey and Copp met in July of 1983 and started dating in August that same year.

“She was my person,” said Copp. 

Dempsey’s life and career

Dempsey was born on Oct. 19, 1946, in McAlester to Alene and H.L. Dempsey. She died on March 10, 2023.

After graduating high school in 1964, she earned her bachelor's degree in 1968 from Southeastern Oklahoma State and taught drama at McAlester High School for 14 years following graduation. 

After 14 years of teaching in McAlester, Dempsey decided she wanted a change and came to Norman to earn a master’s degree in education at OU.

Friends and family remember Dempsey for her humility, dry humor and motivation to better her community. When Dempsey spoke, her words always seemed to touch those around her.

One of those people was Kris Glenn, current OU Parking and Transportation Services director. Glenn started out as a student worker for the department in 2005, similar to how Dempsey got her start.

“When you think of Theta, I think a lot of people just think of respect,” Glenn said. “She was a woman of few words, but whenever she spoke, people listened.”

Many people who knew her through work or life came up and spoke at her service about how encouraging Dempsey was.

Glenn was a high jumper when he was a student at OU. Copp, through her work in the athletic department, knew Glenn and convinced him to apply for a position with parking.

Dempsey was director at the time and was Glenn’s first boss, but Glenn viewed her as more of a mentor than a boss.

“She was never afraid to let her staff fail and learn from that failure, and I was 24 when she hired me so I failed a lot,” Glenn said. “But she was always right there to pick me up and let me learn from that failure.”

Glenn left OU Parking and Transportation in 2010, but returned to OU as its most recent director for the past six years.

During her time with the department, Dempsey made many accomplishments in parking and transportation. Dempsey oversaw the expansion of the Cleveland Area Rapid Transit bus system throughout Norman.

She oversaw the construction of the first three parking garages built on campus under the Parking and Transportation department: Elm finished construction in 1997, Asp in 2003 and Jenkins in 2017 after she retired. All three provided much needed parking space on campus at the time.

She advocated for the use of alternative fuel, resulting in federal and state funding for the Transportation Operations Center fuel station, which uses unleaded (no ethanol), E10 unleaded ultra-low-sulfur-diesel, 5% ultra-low-sulfur-biodiesel and compressed natural gas to fuel the campus shuttles.

Dempsey received awards such as the Transit Professional of the Year by the Oklahoma Transit Association in 2006 and the Campus Parking and Transportation Association Pyramid of Success Award in 2004. In 2010, OU named the Theta M. Dempsey Transportation Operations Center after her.

Glenn learned many things from Dempsey, like how to be fair and solve disagreements. Dempsey herself was adept at finding common ground.

“She was a consensus builder,” Glenn said. “She could bring two opposing views to the table and actually have them leave the situation and find some common ground. I think I learned that from her.”

Because Dempsey’s family was big, sometimes arguments between different-aged siblings arose. Copp said that is where Dempsey learned how to be a bridge builder.

“I think that is probably where she developed some of her abilities to interact with other people where they were instead of making them come to where she was in the conversation,” Copp said.

Dempsey loved to read, with mystery novels being among her favorites. She could finish a long mystery novel in two nights.

Some of her favorite authors included political thriller writer John Grisham and mystery novelist Rita Mae Brown. She and Copp also loved to read Doris Kearns Goodwin's historical books. Dempsey enjoyed collecting from bookstores and visiting Norman Public Library Central.

“I could probably start a small library with all the books that are in this house right now,” Copp said.

Copp and Dempsey both loved to watch sports. Copp first worked as a student employee in the athletic department and in 1990 became the director of publications. Copp brought Dempsey to any event she worked at. 

“She was particularly a fan of women’s sports at OU,” Copp said. “I’m sure part of that was because I would drag her to places to help me out, because if I was short a worker, she was always really good about stepping in and helping to fill in.”

Copp would repay Dempsey by helping her check whether the lights and parking were back to normal after a home football game for the next day of classes.

Traveling was a regular part of their lives. Instead of taking planes or driving the interstates, they liked to find highways or roads less traveled to explore the states they traveled through, such as multiple trips to Florida, California, Texas and Missouri.

“There were several trips that took us forever to travel because we both like stopping and looking at things,” Copp said.

During a trip to Washington, D.C., they only traveled 25 miles in one day because they made so many stops, such as at a Civil War battlefield and the Maker’s Mark Distillery. The length never bothered them since they loved each other’s company and could be entertained with music and books.

A humble servant 

Beyond their work in parking and athletics, they served under multiple selection committees for campus leadership and academic administrators, as well as staff government under former OU President David Boren.

“We wanted to be active in our community, the Norman community,” Copp said.

They were also both very involved in the Women’s Resource Center in Norman, an organization dedicated to supporting survivors of sexual or domestic violence. They both served as board chair at various times throughout the years.

Each December for 20 years, they headed The Sullivan Family Concert fundraiser to raise money for the center. The concert was performed by members of the Sullivan family at the Catlett Music Center for free to raise funds for the Women’s Resource Center, with the last show being in 2013.

Kristy Stewart, the executive director at the Women’s Resource Center, worked at the center at the time Dempsey and Copp were on the board of directors in the 1990s. Stewart recalled how Dempsey combined her work of both moving people and serving them. 

“She did so much good in expanding transportation and making sure our residents had access to transportation and transportation that didn’t cost them anything so they could go to job interviews or just any appointments they needed to get to,” Stewart said.

While Dempsey may have been a woman of few words, Stewart said she advocated for better transportation and the needs of her community. Despite being a leader and pioneer, she was also incredibly humble.

Even her appetite was very humble, with Copp recalling how Dempsey was not the most adventurous eater. But one thing she did like was grilled cheese, especially the one that Crossroads in the Oklahoma Memorial Union served.

“She absolutely loved grilled cheese sandwiches,” Copp said. “She would not be what you would classify as an adventurous eater. When she found something she really liked, she would stick with it.”

When Dempsey retired, Crossroads named its grilled cheese after her. One of Dempsey’s nieces made a plaque for Dempsey’s retirement that looked like grilled cheese.

Dempsey and Copp spent their retirement years doing the things they loved like traveling, reading and attending sporting events. Dempsey couldn’t travel for the last year of her life and eventually passed away due to illness.

Her memorial service was at OU’s golf course on March 26. One of the university’s trollies was parked at the service to honor her, and her family made a montage video of many of the photos of Dempsey taken throughout the years.

The service was informal, with friends, family and colleagues attending to remember her. Many talked about how Dempsey had encouraged them and taught them so much.

“They commented about how she was so encouraging and so helpful to them and their careers,” Copp said. “I hope she was listening ‘cause that is something she would’ve really enjoyed hearing. Because that is what she was about: opportunities for people.”

Dempsey was many things: a mentor, a leader, a pioneer and a lifelong partner. Some saw her as a serious leader, and those closest to her saw a thoughtful and funny person as well.

Copp recalled a quote from the “Winnie the Pooh” author, A. A. Milne, that many might relate to. She and Dempsey would have celebrated their 40th anniversary together later this year. 

“Aren’t we lucky to have had someone in our lives that meant so much that it hurts so much to say goodbye,” Copp said.

Dempsey’s obituary that ran in various local papers detailed her family today. She was preceded in death by her parents; her sister, Becky Young, and her brothers, Hurchell Lee Dempsey Jr., Jim, Jack and Dick Dempsey.

In addition to Copp, she is survived by her sister, Shirley Burkhart, and brothers, John and his wife, Diane, and Dan, and numerous nieces and nephews and great nephews and nieces.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Women's Resource Center or the campaign for Love's Field for the OU softball program.

Editor's note: This story was updated at 1:33 p.m. on June 5 to correct the timeline of Dempsey and Copp's relationship.

This story was edited by Karoline Leonard and Teegan Smith. Nikkie Aisha copy edited this story.