Ben Kolar has never really seen football and school as two separate things.
For him, they have always gone together. The same mindset he brings to the football field carries into the classroom, and the balance between the two has helped shape the way he looks at his future.
It’s why Stanford stood out to him.
Kolar had other options, including the chance to stay closer to home. But when he made his decision, he wasn’t just looking for the next place to play football. He wanted a school that fit what he wanted to do on and off the field.
"It has always been sort of the school on the hill for me in terms of the combination of academic excellence and then athletic excellence,” said Maria Kolar, Ben’s mother. “We were super drawn by the quality of the human beings that populate that football program."
According to Maria Kolar, Ben has a 4.0 currently and would be the fourth of five Kolar kids to accomplish the feat, should he maintain it.
Ben is the youngest of five Kolar children, all Norman North graduates, and all scattered to different schools. Charlie went to Iowa State, where he played tight end, and is now with the Los Angeles Chargers in the NFL. Sam went to Arkansas on an academic scholarship. Katie first went to West Virginia and now plays volleyball at California State University Northridge. John went to Oklahoma State, where he played quarterback. Three of the five earned Division I athletic scholarships; Ben will make it four of five.
"He has had some really good role models," Maria Kolar said. "Literally all the people … just above him in family order also did that, ... pursuing excellence in school and sports at the same time and thinking that's possible. ... That's something we cultivate in our family, and I think they take pride in that."
Norman North head coach Justin Jones has watched that pattern hold up.
"Ben has had a fantastic career as he has matriculated through our program," Jones said. "Not only has he physically gotten bigger, faster and stronger, but he has also continued to increase his already high football IQ. Ben is not only at the top of his class academically, but he is also an incredible leader on and off the field. Ben is the type of young man and player who will be successful no matter his next steps because of his work ethic, preparation and commitment."
Ben Kolar's own explanation focuses on discipline.
"You just got to have priorities, and you're going to dedicate time to what's important to you," Kolar said. "I try to structure my life on the pillars of faith, family, football, and academics. As long as you dedicate the time to the right things, you can succeed in both."
Kolar remembers when football success stopped being a dream and became a possibility. During a game against Broken Arrow his sophomore year, he hit a spin move for one of the best touchdowns of his high school career. Two days later, he got his first D1 offer from Iowa State.
"I realized that, ‘OK, wow, I can have a future at this,’" Kolar said.
Recruiters came calling from there. His offer list had 30 D1 schools from all over the country, and it included offers that would have let him follow one of his brothers’ footsteps, as well as a chance to play for OU. But ultimately, he chose Stanford.
"One of the best tight end schools in the nation, has a history of producing NFL tight ends and the academics really mattered to me and my family as well," Kolar said. "It's not that other places weren't great options too. … I thought Stanford was the best option.”
The path his brother, Charlie, went on to the NFL also helped him shape what felt possible.
"Ever since my brother went, it kind of felt more realistic, because someone in the family's already done it," Kolar said. "I feel like I have a pathway carved for me to get there."
Kolar feels that Stanford will help him mature along the journey.
"A big part about getting the league too is just being mature enough to take care of business each and every day," Kolar said. "Because no one's going to walk you through it. Stanford's a great place for me to develop holistically, not just as a football player, but as a man."
Kolar said his faith helps him stay steady through his pursuits on and off the field.
"Christian first and faith's super important to me," Kolar said. "I try to make all my decisions through the Lord."
He also leans on his mother, who has been a constant source of support throughout his life.
"Ben used to call me the best mom ever," Maria Kolar said. "I'd say, 'Ben, you're not going to always think that.' He's like, 'No, I'll always say that.' ... Very occasionally, he'll just say, ‘Love you, best mom ever.'"
Between football, academics and faith, he wants to make a positive impact.
"I just hope people have positive memories of me," Ben Kolar said. "Try to have a good impact on the school and just represent well."
Maria Kolar has her own version of that hope.
"I would hope that he takes his faith, his integrity, the values we have tried to cultivate at home," Maria Kolar said. "I feel comfortable that he will."
This story was edited by Joshua McDaniel.
