A young man associated with the OU Alpha chapter of Phi Delta Theta fraternity was charged with sexual battery Saturday. This news hit an emotional trigger for me but reminded me one man does not represent the whole fraternity.
I attended another college before transferring to OU. I was involved in greek life and had many friends in different houses. One in particular was the brother fraternity to my sorority. One of the brothers in that house sexually assaulted me.
It was the fraternity’s Beer Olympics Night — but many of us consumed more than beer — me included. My sorority sisters and several girls from another sorority were still there, and I never felt uncomfortable or threatened.
The one brother started to talk to me. We never met, but we had heard of each other. He handed me a drink, and I accepted it but didn’t drink it, because I knew I needed to be fit to walk to my dorm. A few minutes passed, and he started to physically force me to drink it. I wasn’t strong enough to resist. He left after I started to shriek a little and people started looking at us.
He returned a few minutes later and became forceful again. He backed me into a corner, pinned me against a wall and tugged at my shorts. I was almost paralyzed in shock.
I blacked out at that point, and nothing is clear until I felt a hand shake my left shoulder as my right side was pressed on a hard, uncomfortable surface. I was in a parking lot near my dorm. The hand belonged to a girl I recalled being at the house, two others stood behind her. At that point I felt pain in my vaginal area and found abrasions when I went to shower.
I was confused and lost and didn’t know what to do.
I thought it would be a social sacrifice if I made my sisters confront the fraternity’s board. I was ashamed because I thought of all the ways I could have prevented it. I could have left early, I didn’t have to drink, I didn’t even need to go to the party.
I didn’t report it because of those thoughts. I couldn’t bear to confront my parents about it either. I still haven’t.
Looking back now, I realize I shouldn’t have seen it as a threat to the relationship between the houses. It was an individual matter. He was a piece of shit who took advantage of me. I do not hold a grudge on the fraternity, the public shouldn’t either in the OU Phi Delta Theta case. One person’s actions is not the fault of the fraternity — place your anger upon the guilty.
Sexual assault is a universal problem, but I feel it’s highlighted on college campuses and even more so in greek life. I may be wrong, but this is what is often highlighted on television.
I applaud the person who turned in the OU fraternity member arrested for sexual battery this weekend. The girl who was assaulted may be able to sleep a little better knowing he didn’t get away with it.
And to the young woman who was assaulted, don’t let this sit in your head. Please reach out and talk to someone. You are strong and will get through this.
Editor's note: This column was written by a member of the Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Communication who wishes to remain anonymous. In the past, when covering sexual assault, we have allowed sources to remain anonymous for their protection.
