‘Authentic and genuine’: OU Leadership and Volunteerism director Becky Barker retires after 34 years

Correction: This story was updated at 2:23 p.m. on May 31 to reflect that former Vice President of Student Affairs Rick Hall set the stage to create OU's Leadership center, not former Vice President of University Development Tripp Hall.

Two days before her last day at OU, Becky Barker sat in her office with a cup of coffee.

Boxes were stacked against a wall, leadership books sat in the floor-to-ceiling vertical bookcases, a little poster on her desk read “2 days to go before retirement.” Barker said it was strange to pack the things she had collected and  kept in her office for so many years.

“I’ve been in this office for 25 years. Isn’t that wild?” Barker said. “It’s like having a house. I spent more time here than my house.”

Barker’s last week on campus has been filled with emails, letters and lunch dates with colleagues and former students, which she said made her feel very loved.

“All my friends that work at OU have been so gracious about my retirement, and they reached out to all these people from the years past, and those people have been reaching out to me,” Barker said. “It's been pretty touching, because the things that they said they took away were just really simple things that I shared with them. I got an email from someone, and they said ‘I remember you doing this, and my whole life since then I've looked at how I approach my work, because you did that that day’ and I was like oh my gosh, I had no idea. 

“There have been those gifts and moments shared that have really been significant and I really believe that this kind of work is all about relationships and helping people find their way.”

Barker joined OU in 1991 and served as the director of the Leadership and Volunteerism office for more than 20 years. As she heads into retirement after 34 years at OU, Barker reflects on her career, her time at OU and the relationships she built.

“Most of my colleagues, I knew them as undergrads, and so it's pretty magical to watch someone come in at 17-18 (years old), go through their college experience and be a part of that, and then see them graduate, go to grad school or whatever, and then see them as a young professional, and then step into roles of leadership,” Barker said. “That just doesn't happen too often.”

‘An OSU cowgirl turned Sooner’

Barker said growing up, she and her family frequently moved due to her dad being in the military. Her dad served as the head of ROTC at Texas Christian University for a few years, where she took swimming, tennis and piano lessons.

Barker said her dad’s tenure at TCU exposed her to the college environment, so she never felt intimidated in a university setting because it had always been a part of her life.

“I remember my dad finishing his bachelor’s degree at Oklahoma State (University). I remember the pond. I remember walking around the union building there,” Barker said. “That’s just a vivid memory of my childhood, and I couldn’t tell you what the rest of campus looked like back then, we lived in Stillwater for a short time, but I remember the feel of a campus.”

After his retirement, her dad became a finance professor at East Central University in Ada where Barker lived until she began her college education at Oklahoma State University in 1981. Barker earned her bachelor’s degree in advertising and a minor in marketing in 1985.

At OSU, Barker was part of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority and was elected chapter president her senior year, leading her to travel and visit several college campuses every 10 days to two weeks. 

“That year, I sat across from a student affairs professional at Northwestern University and I had that ‘aha!’ moment of ‘oh my gosh, this is somebody’s job,’” Barker said. “I’ve been around it my whole life, but it wasn’t until that ‘aha!’ moment that people do this for a living. That’s just kind of what that moment was, the light bulb moment for me.”

After her trip, Barker returned to Ada in hopes of finding a job.

“East Central called and said ‘hey, we need somebody to run sorority recruitment for us in two weeks, would you want a contract for that?” and I said ‘sure’ …,” Barker said. “I went and met with them and they said ‘why don’t you give us a year? And I was like ‘OK’ so I worked at East Central for four years.”

At East Central, Barker served as assistant dean of students and director of student activities while also working toward her master’s degree in human resources administration. 

Barker came to OU in 1991 to earn her doctoral degree in adult in higher education when a job opening for assistant director of student development began her long tenure at OU. She worked as a Panhellenic adviser for seven years, and also led the President's Leadership Class and Homecoming.

Barker also taught classes for masters and doctorate programs in the Jeannine Rainbolt College of Education, leadership courses in the College Professional and Continuing Studies and intro to graduate studies for the Dodge Family College of Arts and Sciences.

“It’s just weird how one thing leads to another,” Barker said. “I really do believe that one decision impacts the next … I always say that semesters turn to years that turn to careers and then all of a sudden you’re like ‘holy cow, I’ve had a career.’”

Katy Powers, director of outreach for OU’s Behavior Intervention team, was Barker’s first student leader she worked with as Panhellenic advisor.

Powers, who had just been elected Panhellenic president, said the two were nervous at that first meeting, but their closeness in age helped them become a great team.

“She was a very young new staff member, and that was neat that we had that age similarity,” Powers said. “Of course she wants to make a great first impression, and so do I, and realizing we have each other and we’re going to be working together was really fun. We got to just create our own fresh history together.”

Kate Stanton, associate vice president of student affairs at OU Health Sciences Center, also met Barker as a student, but her story with Barker began even before meeting her.

“My mother met her in my enrollment on June 30, 1995,” Stanton said. “My mom had attended a parent session and she came out and said ‘I have just met a dynamic, young, new professional who has her PhD. 

“I want you to meet Dr. Becky Reed.’”

When Stanton returned for Panhellenic recruitment in August 1995, she heard Barker introducing herself.

“I looked up and I thought ‘that’s who my mom told me to meet,’” Stanton said. “And thank goodness I did.”

Stanton said she would visit Barker’s office every Tuesday and Thursday of her first semester at OU where Stanton would share stories and Barker would offer advice. After she graduated, Stanton said she didn’t come to Barker as a formal adviser, but as a friend.

Stanton said Barker has taught her the importance of engaging and connecting with students.

“Becky is very talented at being able to help people develop,” Stanton said. “She would ask questions to get you thinking and ask you questions to help you connect the dots.” 

Powers said Barker was “a developer of leaders” and was always intentional with the students she worked with. 

“She would make little notes for me and just these encouraging notes very, very early on. I remember them and just thinking how sweet and kind that was. She was an encourager to me as I knew she was developing her own career as a new staff member,” Powers said. “She’s an OSU cowgirl turned Sooner, who loves her family and loves her friends.”

After Powers graduated and moved out of state, she said she would come back to Norman and visit Barker. When she moved back to Norman and had children, she said the two reconnected in a different, more meaningful way.

“I came back to OU full time in 2012 and that’s really when we got to become work colleagues for the first time,” Powers said. “I’ve just had so many seasons of life with Becky in so many different ways, and what’s really beautiful is being able to reflect back on that moment in February 1991 and to have no idea just the beautiful friendship and mentorship that she and I would develop together, and God willing, for years to come.”

‘Kind to everyone that walked by her office’

Barker was one of the first members of the Big Event, OU’s largest community service organization, and Camp Crimson, a five-day orientation experience that gives new students the opportunity to connect with the OU community. She was also one of the creators of the Leader Summit, an annual on-campus leadership conference for current and aspiring leaders.

In 1996, former OU President David Boren created OU Cousins, a program that connects international and American students as a way of developing friendship and unity, and tasked Barker with establishing the organization. 

“It was massive,” Barker said. “I remember my husband helped create the Excel spreadsheet to match students with students, and we had the matching party down at Lloyd Noble. It was unbelievable the number of students that were involved in those programs in the early years.”

About 25 years ago, Barker said former Vice President of Student Affairs Rick Hall came to her to create a Leadership Center. A few years later, the volunteerism department and President Community Scholars merged with the center, leading to the creation of the Leadership and Volunteerism office. 

Barker, who served as the director of the program, worked alongside associate director Kari Dawkins and assistant director Vicky Bumgarner. 

“Just a small but mighty little team that has been pretty magical together,” Barker said.

Bumgarner said she remembers interacting with Barker through her involvement in PCS and the Big Event as an undergraduate student. When Bumgarner decided to continue her graduate studies at OU, she worked closely with Barker as a practicum student in Leader Summit, which she described as one of Barker signature programs, and ended up working in the office for over 10 years.

“Her door is always open … she’s just one of those staff members that people know that they can go walk into her office unannounced and take a seat and catch up with her or ask for advice,” Bumgarner said. “I just remember her as someone who is just always on campus, she really believes in being in your office, having your door open and being available to students.”

Dawkins also met Barker as a student and said she recognized the way she treated people with kindness and how she made people feel comfortable, which she said she tries to embody every day. 

“The way that she would be kind to everyone that walked by her office or as she walked through the union,” Dawkins said. “She would say hello to everyone, just so nice and so kind.”

Dawkins said Barker always had the ability to bring ideas to life. Both Bumgarner and Dawkins recalled how Barker created structures and props by hand for the 20th anniversary of Leader Summit. 

“She created all of these gorgeous props that were used throughout the duration of the conference,”Dawkins said. “You felt like you were in Toy Story,” 

Bumgarner said Barker had a “magical talent” of staying connected with people for decades, stating that once people met her, she’ll maintain that connection. 

“She’s able to create this tight-knit community with people,” Bumgarner said. “Getting to see that behind the scenes and just see her integrity and her values just be present in her whole life, not just what she presents to the world but also with her family and friends.

“It’s been the greatest kind of learning experience that I've gotten to be a part of.”

Barker said her greatest accomplishment wasn’t the awards or the titles she has received over her long and impactful career, but the relationships she has made.

“It kind of goes back to being a mentor. I went from being the youngest staff member to being the oldest female in the division. How did that happen?” Barker said. “Colleagues will come to me and ask for my advice or input and I think being one of those people that people trust to come to means a lot. I don’t know if that's an accomplishment but I feel like I've been able to mentor and pour into people in a way that I never would have thought 30 years ago.”

Daughter, wife, mother, friend, colleague, mentor

Barker said she had been eligible for retirement for a long time, but was drawn to the idea due to impactful moments that occurred in the past couple of years.

“This craziness going on around me … it was just really hard to manage some of that,” Barker said. “It's that sandwich generation of needing to be in three different places at the same time, and I'd felt that as a young mom, but I could adapt and figure it out, and then all of a sudden, I turned 61 in November, and last summer I was just like, man, life is too short, I don't want that tug anymore. 

“And all roads led to it that, in the fall, I just had this feeling of this is the time. It’s time for new leadership to step up. It’s time for new beginnings.”

Powers said the beauty of the Leadership and Volunteerism office Barker created is how it’s open for any student to join and participate in it.

“She has made leadership development accessible to every single student on this campus. You do not have to be elected, you do not have to be selected, you just have to have an interest in developing your own leadership skills, and she has developed programs and opportunities for every student,” Powers said. “That is the beautiful, beautiful jewel of this campus. That is a tribute to Becky Barker.”

Bumgarner said it was hard to narrow Barker’s legacy due to the many things she has contributed to OU, but believes her generosity and kindness is timeless.

“I didn’t know her back then but when you talk to people who have known Becky for 34 years, she is just who she is,” Bumgarner said. “Becky Barker is the perfect combination of a mentor and a friend. She’s just so reliable and so consistent and she’s just who she is. Just so authentic and genuine, and every interaction you have with her you’re always going to leave feeling encouraged and cared for.”

Barker said she hopes her legacy includes making students a priority, especially within the Student Affairs division. 

“You can sit in your office and be an administrator, all those things that happen on college campuses, but what it boils down to is why are we here? What brought us here? Why have we stayed?” Barker said. “And if it’s not students, then shame on us.

“Students are why we exist and I hope that I've been able to speak on it and that my legacy is that people would want to model the way I've been as a professional.” 

This story was edited by Natalie Armour.