Sometimes I feel like a cat with nine lives, even though I spend most of them thinking I’m on my last one.
I guess what I'm saying is, even at 22, I feel like I’ve lived at least a few different versions of my life already. When I look back now, it feels like I’m looking at three different people. There’s the awkward one I remember from elementary school, the high schooler who thought she knew everything about the world and then the one I’m still figuring out right now.
These are wildly different versions of myself that all share the same tendency to overthink everything. This is a quality that has been with me for as long as I can remember, but it's also something I’ve learned to manage.
Despite this, I always seem to land on my feet, even when I’m convinced I won't.
Gretchen Schultz with her family.
Going into my first year at OU, I had a picture perfect idea of how things were supposed to go. I thought everything would just fall into place as soon as I moved into Cross 402A in August 2022. I was confident that it would be easy for me to make friends and find my “niche.”
To no one’s surprise, almost nothing went according to plan.
My first two years were spent trying to figure out where I fit in and not really sticking the landing anywhere. I went to class, kept up with my homework and had some genuinely fun moments, but there just wasn't much that clicked with me.
To be clear, it wasn’t all bad. I’m from Dallas, and a lot of us end up here, so I came in knowing a few people. At the time, this was a comforting thought and helped make the transition easier.
One of these people was Jackson, a good friend from high school.
Gretchen Schultz with her friend Jackson.
Jackson and I had met at the beginning of sophomore year in Spanish II. I remember actually looking forward to that class, a rarity at the time, because he would always be goofing around, cracking a joke or just doing something to make people laugh and smile.
Even though we weren't the kind of friends who talked all the time whenever we saw each other, we always had something to share, whether it was life, school, struggles or just things we had shared interest in, like music and TV shows.
High school wasn't always the easiest for me, but I always remember even on my bad days Jackson could get me to crack a smile.
Just a few months after finishing our first year of college, I received a text letting me know Jackson had died. I didn't think it was true. I thought what I was reading was just an exaggerated version of events. I tried texting and calling him.
I never heard back. And a few hours later, his passing was confirmed.
The true impact of Jackson’s absence didn't really hit until I got back to campus in the fall. It became clear that I never found my place that first year, and I didn't have one now.
Even when I was surrounded by people, I felt alone.
Looking back, this played a significant role in the anger I had toward myself at the time. I felt like everyone else had their people but not me, and somehow one of the only real friends I had was gone. I felt like I failed him. I believed I had failed miserably at being a first-year.
I was angry because I didn’t have a solid career path, hadn’t built more connections, hadn’t found more friends, and hadn't done anything “right.” I think a lot of it had to do with the idea I had in my head of what my first year was supposed to look like and how nothing happened the way I had expected. I didn't really know what to do.
Everything felt heavier than it had in a long time. My days would blur together and it became a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, or do anything really. I spent so much of this year in my head and there weren't many moments where I was truly present.
Academically, things weren’t looking much better. I would go to class and keep up with assignments, but I wasn’t retaining anything.
Writing this column brings me back to a moment from one of the introductory journalism classes I took sophomore year. I was in class expecting another lecture but instead the professor came around handing out paper packets. She dropped off four copies at my table; I remember picking one up to see what we were going to do. While skimming through it I remember the familiar feeling of my chest getting tight and my heart starting to pound when I realized what the assignment was. I had to do that thing where you bite your tongue to try and stop yourself from sobbing in public.
Gretchen Schultz with her little sister Courtney.
You're probably reading this thinking the assignment was something horrible and insanely difficult — it wasn't. It was a packet of sentences we had to proofread for AP style. Putting this into words now makes me laugh because I know my reaction probably sounds dramatic and blown out of proportion, but it genuinely felt catastrophic to me at the time.
As my table worked through the packet, I remember sitting there and feeling more and more like a fraud. All of my peers seemed to immediately know what to look for and what proofing marks to use while I could barely contribute to the conversations besides the occasional, “Wait, why did you do that?” or “Oh, I thought that was right?”
While everyone else was moving on to the next sentence, I sat there thinking, “Why am I even in Gaylord?” It genuinely felt like everyone around me came into college knowing all of this information while I just found out it existed.
I was so incredibly embarrassed that I did not understand concepts all of my peers seemed to treat as common knowledge, and I left class feeling utterly defeated.
As stressful and overwhelming as it all felt, there was still a little part of me that wanted to figure it out; I like to call this my “may as well” mentality. It wasn't that I hated journalism, honestly being in Gaylord helped me hold a much deeper appreciation for the craft. I just could not figure out what I was going to do with my life or my career, and I had absolutely no idea where to start looking.
Toward the end of my sophomore year, things started to seem like they might get better after a meeting with my academic adviser who talked me into doing my practicum at the OU Daily that upcoming fall. I had no idea what to expect but was also cautiously optimistic despite being incredibly worried I wouldn't fit in or know enough to keep up.
There are two things I vividly remember from my first day in the newsroom. The first was how nervous I was walking in, and the second was how quickly that feeling disappeared.
Gretchen Schultz.
I expected it to feel more intimidating, like everyone would be focused on themself, but it was the exact opposite. It was loud, people were talking across desks and every couple minutes the room would just burst out in laughter. I thought maybe something special was happening that day, something that had everyone more talkative than usual, but I quickly found out that it is just the nature of the OU Daily newsroom.
After that first day, a lot of things started to click for me. Someone who played a massive role in this is Mary Ann Livingood, copy chief of the OU Daily since her sophomore year. I attribute so much of my growth as a journalist and copy editor to her.
Over time, she helped me turn a skill that completely intimidated me into something I enjoy and want to build a career from. I left each shift feeling more confident in myself and my skills than the last. I became increasingly comfortable writing headlines, decks, SEO and even navigating AP style, which is something I never thought I would be able to say when I first walked into the newsroom.
I probably asked her what felt like more than a thousand questions in the past two years, lots of them about AP style, of course. Questions like which numbers should be spelled out, how to write SEO that boosts engagement, how ellipses should be formatted and why paying attention to story structure is also a huge part of the copy editing process.
Even during her busiest days, she always took the time to either explain things or show me how to find the answer myself. What made the biggest impact was that she never made me feel stupid for asking questions. Mary Ann didn’t just tell me what was right or wrong, she explained why and always made sure I understood what we were discussing before moving on to her next task. Her knowledge, mentorship and encouragement are a huge part of why things started clicking for me.
Slowly, I started to feel like I understood what I was doing and started to think that I could be successful in a newsroom. I stopped feeling intimidated every time I sat down to edit a story or write a headline, and copy editing became something I genuinely enjoyed.
Beyond everything Mary Ann taught me about copy editing, I consider myself very lucky to have built such a meaningful friendship with her over the last two years. Looking back, it was one of the first times during college that I truly felt connected to the people around me.
This friendship wasn't just something that happened only with Mary Ann, over time the Daily became so much more to me than just a newsroom. Somewhere along the way, it also became the place where I formed some of the most meaningful friendships in my college experience.
Some of the first people I met at the Daily were Grace Rhodes and Avery Avery, a copy desk dynamic duo who quickly became a huge part of my experience in the newsroom. The two of them have such warm and welcoming personalities, and it was something I noticed after only a few days. That shared quality brought me comfort as I adjusted to the newsroom.
Both Grace and Avery are phenomenal teachers in a way that seems so natural to them. They were always willing to answer questions, explain things or help me workshop headlines, decks and sentence structure without making me feel behind for not knowing. I think this is part of why the copy desk became such a special environment to me: everybody's willingness to help each other get better. Getting to know them both over the past two years has been so fun, and I honestly cannot imagine what my experience at the Daily would have looked like without either of them.
Sophie Hemker is also one of the first people I remember meeting during my first days in the newsroom. Working with her on the copy desk over the last two years has genuinely been one of the best and most rewarding parts of my experience. Like Mary Ann, Sophie played a huge role in helping me build both my confidence and copy editing skills, especially during a time where I still felt incredibly unsure of myself in the newsroom.
Sophie is incredibly funny and very smart, but what stands out to me the most is the way she treats people. She carries herself in such a calm and welcoming way that being around her made me feel more comfortable opening up and talking to people. She also somehow manages to make stressful situations feel far less overwhelming than they actually are, which is something I’ve always really admired about her because this is a skill I struggle with greatly. She leads with so much kindness, confidence and care for the people around her both in and outside of the newsroom. I genuinely cannot imagine what my experience at the OU Daily would have looked like without her.
Josh McDaniel is another defining character in my story. His kindness and positivity are genuinely infectious, and even on some of my hardest days he could get me laughing so hard I would completely forget my stress. Josh and I started on the copy desk together, but he’s grown into an incredible multi-faceted journalist. Watching him evolve over the last two years and step into a sports editor role has also been so amazing to see. His determination to keep getting better is unmatched and very admirable. He is also my go-to for literally any sports question I have ever had.
Working in the newsroom the summer going into my junior year is also when I started getting closer with Audrey McClour, Natalie Armour and Macey Thaxton. Being able to walk into the newsroom every day, immediately say hello to them and just talk about anything has genuinely been one of the best parts of my college experience. The three of them are so much fun to work around, and some of my funniest memories from the Daily came from all of the random conversations and little jokes shared across the newsroom over the past two years.
Even though the work we do is different, I look up to the three of them so much. Watching the care, passion and effort they put into their reporting was a constant source of inspiration and allowed me to put this quality into my own work too. Seeing how dedicated they are and how much they genuinely care about what they produce pushed me to work harder, be more confident in what I was doing and give everything I had to my own work at the Daily. Watching all of them become leaders in the newsroom over the last few years has also been nothing short of inspirational to me. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible people.
Annie Davenport is another person who has impacted me more than she probably realizes. Her “no bulls---” attitude has kicked me back into being motivated more times than she knows. She's also one of the most talented photographers I’ve ever met. Watching her take on these bigger and bigger jobs over the past year has been amazing — she blows me away every single time. Something I love about Annie is how I feel like she sees me on a deeper level, which brings me a lot of comfort. I’m genuinely so excited that we’ll both be back in Dallas after graduation. I can’t wait to keep growing our friendship.
Gretchen Schultz with the OU Daily copy desk.
And finally, there’s the copy desk itself. Mary Ann, Grace, Avery, Sophie, Ryan Little, Kylie Caldwell, Andrew Paredes, Geethika Kollu, Tori Pham, Kennedy Johnson, Larkin Bock, Andrew Higgins, Chelsea Low, Hannah Lambert, Parker Newman, Lauren Brogdon, Arthur Shamayev and Vanessa Essien are all people who have brought me immense joy over the last two years. The copy desk as a whole is something that has been invaluable to me. Over time, it grew into this big group of some of the most unique, smart, funny and talented people I’ve ever met, all talented in so many different ways.
So much of my last two years here have been spent sitting at that desk talking, laughing, editing stories, asking random AP style questions out loud, overthinking headlines for way too long and somehow getting completely sidetracked from my work because somebody said something ridiculous that made all of us start laughing. There are so many little moments from the copy desk that probably sound insignificant to anyone outside the newsroom, like our love for acronyms, but these tiny moments have become some of the most important and memorable parts of college for me.
Being around people who genuinely wanted to talk, listen and connect in a meaningful way made the newsroom feel exciting, welcoming and somewhere I genuinely wanted to be every day. Sitting at that desk over the last two years is what truly made my time at OU feel meaningful.
Getting to know everyone on the copy desk, but also across the newsroom, has been a profoundly life altering experience for me, and it’s honestly hard to put into words the amount of love and gratitude I have for the OU Daily. When I look back on my college experience 10, 20 or 30 years from now, I know with absolute certainty that the OU Daily is what I’ll remember most and the copy desk is what I’ll talk about for years to come. This newsroom changed my life in ways I’m not sure I fully realized until writing this column, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would not be the same person I am now without it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Gretchen Schultz is a journalism graduate. At the Daily, she served as a copy intern, junior copy editor and senior copy editor. This summer, she will be moving back home to Dallas as she prepares to begin her studies again in the fall through the University of Alabama’s accelerated master’s program for journalism and media studies. She hopes to grow her skills as a copy editor and her love for headline writing as she learns more about backend analytics. She dreams that one day she will be able to write headlines like Mary Ann and Sophie, true masters of this craft.
THANK YOU
Seth Prince is someone who has impacted me in such a profound way that I find it hard to put my gratitude into words, but I’m going to give it my best shot. So, I want to say thank you to Seth, the OU Daily newsroom adviser, for simply being the kind of person he is. He is the kind of journalist, leader and person that so many people, myself included, hope to become one day. I have never met somebody who cares so deeply not only about the work being produced, but also about the people producing it. From my perspective, Seth is such an integral part of what makes the OU Daily newsroom feel so special. He is a phenomenal teacher, leader and example of what journalism should look like when it’s done with care, passion and integrity. I learned so much just by listening to him around the newsroom. He is a mentor who genuinely cares about every single person in that newsroom, and I think that’s a huge part of why the Daily became such a meaningful place for me and probably many others. Thank you for being you, Seth. I believe your impact on me and others is something generational. You have shown me the qualities that make a journalist great and they have become the foundation of my future career. I know I will carry these moments, lessons and qualities with me for the rest of my life. Thank you.
Mom and Dad, it is hard for me to put into words what you both mean to me because I’m not even sure if there are words that would encompass the love, admiration and gratitude I have for you. Even though I moved away for college, I feel like we all got so much closer. Though there were many moments where I felt utterly alone, I was never truly alone, you guys have always been one call away. Going away for college also helped me realize how incredibly lucky I am to have you both as my parents.
Gretchen Schultz with her family.
I know it took a while for me to realize it, but so many of my qualities, especially my determination and drive to keep going are because of the steadfast support you guys have shown me the last four years, really over the span of my entire life. For the first time, I am truly, deeply proud of the person I've become and it's really because of you guys. Thank you for helping me grow. I love you both so much.
Ethan, simply put, you are my salvation. I love you more than any word can express. It has been close to four years now since our paths crossed again and these past four years with you have been nothing short of incredible. Thank you for showing me what it means to be loved in a way that is so intimate and genuine. You are the one person who knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Thank you for loving me when I don’t even love myself. You really are everything to me.
Gretchen Schultz with her boyfriend Ethan.
When I am drowning in chaos, you are who brings me back to the surface. You are the calm to my storm, as I’ve told you so many times. I feel profoundly grateful that I get to love you and cherish you. You are my best friend and my soulmate and every moment spent with you is a moment of pure peace and joy. I’m so proud of you and the person you've become. There are so many things I admire about you, but some of my favorites are things like your smarts, your strength both physical and mental, your compassion and your determination to do good and get better is something that I love about you because it inspires me to do the same with my work.
Gretchen Schultz with her boyfriend.
You are so incredibly kind and thoughtful, and I love hearing you explain random things from your shows or games even if I don’t fully understand what you’re saying. I find joy in every text we send, every phone call and FaceTime and of course all of the in-person moments too; every single one is truly invaluable to me. Thank you for being you, you have brought and continue to bring pure, genuine joy into my life in every aspect of it. I cannot wait to continue our future together.
Theo Andrews, my glorious, wonderful best friend and (best) roommate. I do not know what I would have done without you. These past two years have been nothing short of a blast, even when we feel like we are going insane.
Gretchen Schultz with her friend.
You are one of the coolest people I know, so please keep being you because you are truly one of the most phenomenal people I’ve ever had the pleasure of calling a friend. I’m going to miss being able to come down and talk to you whenever, and I’m also really going to miss hearing the distant strum of your bass from my room. I couldn't tell you why, but I loved hearing the bass, it was very comforting. You have played such a major role in helping me turn my college experience into something positive and meaningful — you are such a light in my life. Thank you for being such a genuine friend, I’m so glad you made your way back to OU, and to the apartment. I love you times a million and I can’t wait for you to come stay with me in Dallas, and vice versa of course.
Gretchen Schultz with friends.
Kyle Bergwall, You were one of the first people I met here at OU, but also one of the first people who I made a genuine connection with back in our first year. It brings me so much joy that our friendship has grown so much over the past four years, you have been nothing short of an impeccable friend. I genuinely cannot imagine my OU experience without you in it. Not only are you incredibly compassionate but you are also hilarious and so fun to talk to. One of my favorite qualities of yours is how knowledgeable you are in so many different areas. Whether we were having serious conversations or just laughing about something dumb, being around you always brought me a sense of comfort. Thank you for being such a supportive, thoughtful and consistently amazing friend throughout all four years. I'm going to miss you so much, but I know that we aren't really saying goodbye, just see you later.
