Upside-down longhorn

Each fall, The Oklahoma Daily and The University of Texas' newspaper, The Daily Texan, exchange editorials to see who can make the best diss of the year.

Read their editorial here: Swipe left for Sooners

We know Sooners are looking forward to watching the Longhorns flounder on the football field Saturday, much like their slow-moving, cud-chewing mascot Bevo, the sanctimonious cow. 

Besides, by the time Saturday rolls around, UT probably won’t have enough players on its roster to field a full team because head coach Charlie Strong will have kicked them all off.

You know what they say: everything is bigger in Texas, including the football losses. Sure, we lost to TCU last week but at least we haven’t gotten destroyed two years in a row by an out-of-conference Brigham Young University team, including a near shut-out at home in September.

At this point, we aren't sure the Longhorns fully know how to play football. For example, they screwed up the opening coin toss in their home loss to UCLA, one of the most fundamental skills for any football player. 

It’s almost too easy to poke fun at Texas this year. When UT’s own coach refers to the BYU loss as “… an embarrassment to this program, it's an embarrassment to this university,” it makes our job a lot easier.

However, we have to thank UT quarterback Tyrone Swoopes for giving us the laugh of a lifetime by claiming he fully expects Texas to still make the playoffs this season. Swoopes, you have got to be kidding. But then again, a bloated sense of entitlement seems to be a prerequisite for being a Longhorn. 

UT’s 2-3 record puts it near the bottom of the Big 12, and the Longhorns’ only wins this season are over the University of Kansas — the running joke of our conference — and the University of North Texas. Granted, five of the top-10-ranked college football teams lost last weekend, but it’s still going to take near-perfection to earn one of the four coveted playoff spots, a far cry from UT’s losing record.

Really, Texas, it’s almost sad. UT has the richest athletic program in the country, but money clearly can’t buy a tradition of winning. Texas spent nearly $13 million and developed a literal task force to bring in Charlie Strong, and the team is still losing to nonconference opponents.

Strong is known as a no-nonsense authoritarian, and in a preseason speech to Texas high school football coaches, Strong said he planned to put the “T back in Texas.” In reality, this season UT seems to be putting the “T” back in tanking. Sorry Charlie, but some things, like UT football, are just beyond repair.

We aren’t worried about the Sooners cruising to a handy victory over UT on Saturday. The team in crimson and cream in Dallas on Saturday will be an entirely different beast than last year’s overconfident squad. Don’t believe us? During his time as OU’s head coach, Bob Stoops has never lost a revenge game.

Texans probably don't know how to say OU running back Samaje Perine's name now, but we doubt they'll ever forget it after Saturday. We aren't opposed to all of Texas' traits, though. As the state sign commands, we'll be sure to "drive friendly — the Texas way" right into the end zone over and over again. 

The only thing that could further cinch an OU victory would be if the game was played in Norman, but we understand Longhorns are too afraid to make that trip up north. Longhorn logic says the game is played in Dallas because the lone star state is better than Oklahoma, but we’re pretty sure it has everything to do with OU’s 87-5 winning home record under Stoops.

Not to mention, OU has this little thing called Sooner magic. Longhorns can doubt it all they want, but the Sooner faithful believe in their team no matter what. UT’s bandwagon fan base, on the other hand, is more flaky and fair-weather than tried and true. Don’t worry; OU fans will be enjoying Bevo burgers as Longhorn “fans” evacuate the Cotton Bowl en masse when the Sooners take the lead on Saturday.

Don't stop here! Read what The Daily Texan thinks about Oklahoma.

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