Bryan Honeycutt

This column is titled after “Bully the Bullies,” a fire level in the dated video game Super Mario 64. Mario, a plumber by trade, is regularly called upon to defend the Mushroom Kingdom when it can’t protect its bullied, mushroom-headed citizens. In the game, “Bullies” are horned monsters who attempt to bump Mario into liquid-hot magma. READ MORE

Don Draper drinks hard. Don Draper smokes hard. Don Draper sells hard. As many of you are aware, Don Draper is the impressively handsome and well dressed protagonist of AMC’s “Mad Men.” READ MORE

And now for a column about how we appropriate our resources and what that says about our values. Shawn Carter (rapper alias, Jay-Z) knows how to appropriate resources. For an education on quality pimping, look no further than his song and music video “Big Pimpin.” READ MORE

A Vampire, Zombiess, and Ghost all walk into a bar. “Dust in the Wind” hums along from the jukebox. “Happy Hallows’ Eve. What’ll it be?” the bartender asks. READ MORE

In 18 days, Americans — many of whom are college students — resume their annual war on testicular cancer. No Shave November for Testicular Cancer Awareness ends its armistice this Halloween at midnight. The rules of engagement follow: Step 1: On Oct. 31, shave your face. Step 2: Until Dec. 1, don’t shave, cut or trim hair from your face. READ MORE

This weekend quarterback Landry Jones will lead the Sooners in a battle more heated than the Rebel assault against the second Death Star. He faces an opponent that, not unlike the second Death Star, has “a strong defense mechanism.” In a way, Jones is our own personal Admiral Ackbar. The University of Mississippi — affectionately Ole Miss — came very close to getting their own Admiral Ackbar. The Rebel Alliance leader was one of several potential candidates to replace their 24-year old mascot Colonel Reb.  READ MORE

The first reading I assigned this semester was Nicholas Carr’s “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” The article, written in 2008, asks how the Internet influences our thinking. My students were challenged to turn off their cell phones, close every other tab on their browser and read the article without interruption. READ MORE

Plenty of women would gladly donate their own blood to Edward. Certainly another demographic shares that willingness to literally open their hearts to Edward. READ MORE

This column’s headline is not meant to be ironic or a joke. I sincerely wish for everyone to hug, not hate, the members of Westboro Baptist Church. More on that later. READ MORE

This column is not directed (or dedicated) to any freshman comp class in particular, honestly. READ MORE