There are moments that define a team — either pulling it apart or drawing it together. The tragic death of Austin Box on May 19 was one of those moments.

Excitement for the 2011 season from players, coaches and fans was visible from the moment then-juniors Ryan Broyles and Travis Lewis announced they’d be returning.

And that energy was not just because of Broyles and Lewis — veterans like Box, defensive end Frank Alexander and defensive back Jamell Fleming also would be returning to OU’s highly touted defense, making the Sooners early favorites to win the national title.

Then the news of Box’s death grounded the team to a halt.

“It’s a devastating day for the Oklahoma family and the Box family,” defensive coordinator Brent Venables said that night. “Just know that a young man was tragically taken from us.”

Dealing with the death of a teammate and friend easily could have pulled apart the team and derailed OU’s championship run, but instead it united the team under something far more important than winning a title.

Box’s death has had a unifying effect on the 2011 OU football team. Players and coaches alike have said the team’s never been more like a family since the day they had to band together over the loss of the close friend and teammate.

“It seems like when bad things like this happen — when tragedy strikes — we seem to gravitate toward one another and really become closer as a unit,” Lewis said. “He’s motivating us. He makes everybody know not to live for tomorrow but live for today.”

But the Oklahoma family is not exclusive to the players and coaches. OU coach Bob Stoops said the program is taking steps to keep Box’s parents a part of the extended OU family.

“We’re trying to keep their season tickets intact and want to keep including them in whatever family activities they’re used to doing around the games,” Stoops said.

Remembering a friend

The Sooners have dedicated this season to Box’s memory, and they said they’re more motivated than ever to a win a national championship — not for themselves, but for Box.

Much of what the team has done and plans to do in honor of Box will understandably not be in the public view.

“When we say our morning prayer before workouts, we implement him,” Lewis said. “[Our plans are] not going to be anything dramatic — we’re not going to put tattoos on our back, we’re not going to do anything like that — we’re just going to do it in the right way.”

But the team also plans to remember him in ways that will make clear to both the OU family and rest of the nation how much Box meant to them.

Starting with OU’s summer training camp, Lewis brought Box’s helmet to the field and placed it in Box’s spot during team stretches. And that was just the beginning.

As a fellow linebacker and an outspoken team leader, Lewis was very close to Box and has taken charge — with junior quarterback Landry Jones — of spearheading the effort to honor Box.

The Sooners will wear decals with Box’s name and number on their helmets. The team will continue to honor him in their team prayers and stretching exercises. But perhaps the most visible way the Sooners plan to pay tribute to him is by taking turns wearing his number.

Box’s No. 12 will rotate from player to player on the defense this season. Stoops said Lewis and Jones will determine who wears the number each week and will inform the coaches and administrators the Friday before game day — that is if the Twitter-savvy team doesn’t share it on social media ahead of time.

“I was going to hope to sort of bring that out on Fridays, but if somebody goes ahead and Twitters it ahead of me, then so be it,” Stoops said. “Travis and Landry have sort of worked that out how they want to do it, so we’ve got a good plan.”

The team hasn’t said what the criteria will be for wearing Box’s number. It will have to be a defensive player since Jones wears No. 12 on offense, but players said they understand the tremendous responsibility it would be to wear the number.

“It’s special for us to wear No. 12, remember Austin,” junior defensive back Demontre Hurst said. “I don’t know how it’ll go, but I know when you put it on, you got to play like Austin.”

Playing like Austin

That’s easier said than done. Since Box’s death, the Sooners have talked a lot about what he brought to the team.

“He was living the dream,” Venables said. “We all have dreams, all have goals. For a lot of us, it never happens — we don’t get to live those dreams. He was living his dream as an Oklahoma Sooner. He appreciated it, he respected it, he wore it on his sleeve.

“He was one of the most selfless guys I’ve ever been around and a great leader for us.”

Venables’ responsibilities as defensive coordinator built a closer relationship with Box than most coaches, and Venables intimately understood the impact Box had on the defense.

“He’s had a profound impact and has been a huge part of the success we’ve had as a team,” he said. “He stands for everything that’s right about this program. He’s such a big part of what we do — of this family. To not have him here leaves a real empty feeling. It’s really, really hard.”

After a rough start in 2010 — particularly by the defense — Venables said Box was instrumental in the Sooners’ turnaround to finish with a marquee win against Oklahoma State, steal a Big 12 title from Nebraska and end a BCS-bowl slide with a Fiesta Bowl win against Connecticut.

“Without him, I’m not sure we would have finished the same way,” Venables said.

Stoops said Box’s impact was felt not just last year but during his whole career as a Sooner.

“He played an integral part in our success the last three years and was looking forward to a big senior year,” Stoops said.

So playing like Austin, as Hurst said, carries a lot of weight, but it’s something the Sooners said they’re prepared to do.

Moving forward

In almost four months’ time, the loss of Box hasn’t gotten easier for OU.

“Austin was one of my best friends,” Lewis said. “I’m still dealing with it. It’s not easy to talk about.”

Hurst said the team still has a lot to work through from that day, but keeping Box close has helped.

“It’s been very emotional since the day we lost Austin,” he said. “We got to keep him in our spirit.”

The team will continue to lean on each other, the coaches and the ways they honor Box.

Above all, though, many of the players said they’re leaning on their faith to carry them forward.

“I stopped asking why a long time ago and placed it in God’s hands,” Lewis said.

“I know that everything happens for a reason.”