Halloween used to be my favorite holiday, back when it was still acceptable to trick or treat. I used to get anxious the days before and wear my costume, which was either a witch, a princess or a bride, depending on where the year fell in my rotation. Now, as the outfits get more and more revealing, I offer a spectators view on this year’s most popular costumes.

1) The Risky Business Babe-

Though I am cheaper than sloths are slow, I feel like the Risky Business outfit is just a little too thrown together. So, you’re dating a giant and you stole his button up? Old news—in fact, it is 28-year-old news. While I enjoy a cult classic like the next hopeless romantic—Helloooo John Cusack— I feel like this costume should be retired for good.

2) Arrrrrrgggghhh, not another pirate!

OK, I get it. Everyone really, really, really, really thinks that pirates are cool. But if you think about it, pirates are unhygienic, smelly, foul-mouthed creatures that I don’t think can be classified as human beings. I wouldn’t even want to pretend that I was one of those thieving sea cretins. Regardless of my personal beef with pirates, I would like to say that this costume can always take a fresh approach, which is extremely helpful. Just don’t get too crazy with the fake sword slashes in your clothes—the idea of wearing just shreds of clothing may sound sexy, but accidentally mooning someone when your clothes fall to pieces at your feet is anything but.

3) The Angry Bird

Cool: Dressing up as an actual Angry Bird, complete with stuffing and a headband to make you really look like the little red Angry Bird.

Not cool: Wearing an Angry Bird t-shirt and trying to pass it off as a real costume.

I have got to say, I have spent many sleepless nights partaking in the war against the green pigs via my Android. Not to drop any numbers, but I’m a level 6-14-er. No need to get jealous, but I love this game like most other students here. Though I think that the Angry Bird t-shirt is not a real costume, I give kudos to those who even thought about going as an Angry Bird. You are already more dedicated than I am to the Angry Bird nation, and I commend you, soldier.

4) Tipi Repeat

The Indian… Oh, the Indian. Though Native Americans are cool, I just feel like this is a little bit racist. Native Americans are people, and those people dress up like that for events, like powwows, except their dresses usually cover their tooshes a little more. Though some Native Americans don’t mind the costume and actually dress up like Pochohotties, others are deeply offended. Don’t believe me? Ask this girl: http://nativeappropriations.blogspot.com/2011/10/open-letter-to-pocahotties-and-indian.html.

5) The Bro

I have got to say, I didn’t really think of this one as a Halloween costume. I mean, I see bros every day, and I respect their bro-dom to an extent, but I didn’t think that it would be a legitimate Halloween costume. I give props to the people who are actually wearing it as a costume—that is everyday non-bros, but it’s just weak when you are a bro going as a bro. C’mon guys, even a pirate is better than going as an imitation of yourself.

So there you have it, folks. Though I spent my Halloween writing fine journalism pieces like these and reading, there’s my take on some of the most popular costumes of the year. What were the best and worst costumes you saw?