There is a lot to know about the Jersey Shore’s infamous Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. She speaks at universities where she attracts a number of bored and brainless students who flock to lecture halls to listen to what she has to say about her life, career and what drives her as a woman.

Snooki is a New York Times bestseller, a party animal, someone who enjoys quick hookups from lonely bachelors at bars and she has no problems exposing her female parts to random men at clubs — I’m sure her parents are proud. She’s a whore like Charlie Sheen except he has the excuse of a drug addiction.

After learning Snooki was raking in a staggering $32,000 by merely speaking before a group of college students at Rutgers University, I wondered who advised the Nobel Prize winning novelist Toni Morisson to settle for a mere $30,000 at the very same institution.

The questions I pose are: Why is her pouf of a hairdo, orange complexion and ditsy nature earning her such a large amount of money to speak before a student body at a respected university? And why did the college want to support such a ludicrous event?

Of course Rutgers hosting Snooki was a publicity stunt for Snooki and for the school’s benefit, but of course, it was to give the students something humiliating to laugh at.

Not to be ashamed of my actions: I do watch the Jersey Shore occasionally and it’s not because I aspire to be a meathead like The Situation, a violent boyfriend like Ronnie. I simply watch the show to poke fun at how ignorant they are on camera and how often they pretend to omnisciently counsel one another to be the best in bed.

Any time I hear someone mention they are impressed by Snooki’s success, I want to stick one of my index fingers and swirl it around in my eyes until I am no longer able to see. In my eyes, she’s not a success, and doesn’t deserve the fame she is receiving.

If you’re wondering if Snooki is a generational obsession, she’s not. My generation may be utterly infatuated with stupidity in loving Snooki, but then again, isn’t every generation?

I know 50-year-old parents who watch the show with their teens for amusement. It’s palpable nonsense at best. Think Snooki’s foul mouth and loose morality prove the generation before mine is more depraved?

Might I remind you it was the generation before ours (the 50-somethings that are watching the show with their teens) that brought us such redeeming cultural artifacts as key parties, swingers clubs and drug-addled love-ins?

Think previous generations would never have celebrated or espoused someone as inarguably untalented as Snooki? Please. Pamela Des Barres turned a baby-sitting gig for Frank Zappa’s kids into a career as professional band groupie, landing on magazine covers and even in movies simply for sleeping with lots of famous men throughout the 60s and 70s. Remind you of someone?

Snooki is not a person to admire. She spends her life at bars coaxing guidos to sleep with her, and doesn’t seem to take life too seriously. More importantly, she’s not a teacher of wisdom. The professors at Rutgers, I would hope had to have been upset at how much she was paid. Snooki is an asinine individual, and deserves none of the praise currently being showered upon her.

— Sage Mauldin, psychology junior