Every day you hear how important it is to be careful about what you post on your social networking sites. After all, employers are spending inordinate amounts of time stalking you on the Internet in order to decide whether or not to hire you as their social media manager. They are looking for the tiniest scrap of evidence that could unravel all of your years of hard work and land you unemployed and unhappy somewhere in the suburbs of your own life.

Sure, I want a great job that I am so passionate about I could marry it. And yeah, I would also like that job to line my pockets with cold, hard cheddar, but I ain’t afraid of no future boss-man/woman. The people that frighten me most with their use of Facebook, Twitter or the blogosphere in general are family members (or worse, family friends).

I encourage managers, supervisors and even human resource departments to go ahead and look through my 2,005 or so pictures, 70 percent of which feature me participating in criminal activity. I hope they have a blast scrolling through my statuses that frequently use phrases such as “riding the struggle bus,” “school is murdering my soul without mercy” or “traded my iPhone for a block of wood and found it in my purse this morning.”

I can handle people I don’t even know browsing through my tweets and passing judgment on me, but the endless parade of inappropriate comments from those who have aged out of the social network is starting to severely cramp my style.

After months of leaving your uncle/former adult classmate/painfully nerdy older cousin in confirm/ignore limbo, you took the path less traveled and made them your friend or follower. Your parents stopped pestering you with questions like, “Why don’t you want to be their facespace friend? Do you have something to hide? You know employers are looking at that stuff, right?”

And now, after all of that, your super trendy grandmother/high school geometry teacher/old neighbor with the tribal tattoo has the audacity to comment on your status, or worse, a picture in which other people are tagged and consequently forced to endure the shame as well.

By my calculations, there are three types of comments these people can leave.

First, there is the totally irrelevant comment. Your status is about tailgating on Saturday and he or she leaves you a comment that just says, “We love you baby girl!!! You are a blessing in our life!”

Not only does this have absolutely nothing to do with you hanging out with your friends before a football game, but it also uses the plural pronoun “we.” How does one person’s Facebook suddenly belong to two people? Did they clone themselves? Or develop another personality? Whatever has happened, it is disturbing and uncomfortable.

The second type of comment is the condescending comment. Once a certain relative of mine who shall not be named commented on one of my generic “I would rather devour human flesh than read this essay for class” statuses with a little lecture on why I should be so grateful for my schooling and that I should be especially appreciative of my hardworking father who so graciously funds my higher education.

If I can’t rant aimlessly on the internet about inconsequential occurrences in my day without being bothered, then I might as well just get a freaking diary.

Finally, there is the invisible comment. This comment is the one that by passes the Internet and goes straight to your parents or friends.

A seemingly harmless status such as “I wish I could sleep forever” is interpreted as a suicide threat. Next thing you know, you are getting phone calls from your Grandma who is “just making sure everything is OK.” You know what? Everything is not OK, Grams. I am trying to take a nap and you are the fourth relative to call me to make sure I wasn’t simultaneously starting my car and closing my garage door.

Picture comments are generally worse. Your sister-in-law comments on a photo of you in which you are vehemently wasted and tells you how much you look like your mom. That just hits a little too close to home.

Your baby cousin asks if the guy you are kissing in your profile picture is your boyfriend and you just don’t quite know how to tell her that he already has a boyfriend.

Perhaps the only real solution to this problem is to launch a counterattack and comment back with a vengeance. Go out into the social media world and comment and be commented on.