The Daily’s Lunden England and Caitlin Turner have a text conversation over their dead week “activities.”

(405): Caitlin… I think it’s time for finals again.

(918): Lunden! OMG! I just woke up in a study room somewhere on campus. My backpack is full of empty “tweakers” bottles and some janitor is giving me the stink eye.

(405): Sounds like my Friday night, except I woke up in a Denny’s dumpster. Maybe we need to regroup and get our study on.

(918): For sure. I have 4 papers to write and I intend on working in the phrase “this is what freedom tastes like” into every single one. Where do you want to work? Biz-Lib? Union? Louie’s Too?

(405): Your mom’s house.

(918): Nah, she is too busy with your dad right now.

(405): Ok, let’s stop this madness. I’ve stocked up on Hot Pockets and Yoo-hoo so far. I think we are set for some cramming.

(918): Listen, I need you to change my facebook password for me. I just spent the last 30 minutes looking for pictures of my middle school boyfriend’s baby mama.

(405): We’re mildly pathetic right now. I have an alchemy final tomorrow … how do I turn Helmann’s into gold?

(918): Honestly, I think our best option is to sell back our books now, spend the cash on pizza shuttle and “Growing Pains” DVDs, and rely on Wikipedia for the rest of our academic needs.

(405): I don’t think I’m ready to go back to “GP” … not since Boner died. And why does it feel like I’m constantly acting as your voice of reason? I think you need to come study.

(918): You are right. What would I do without you? Is it time for my mid dead week emotional breakdown yet? I am going to drive to your house and you are going to indulge me and sing this Shania Twain duet with me weeping in your arms.

(405): Sounds better than last time we studied together, when all you did was whine about the government coming to take your babies.

(918): Low blow, England. Need I remind you of the “crying into my crunchy cheetos” incident of ’09? I still can’t look at a bag of chips the same way. I think we should set up a system of studying that allows for a youtube break every 15-20 minutes.

(405): “Grape Lady Falls” still cracks my crap up. And that’s going to be us on the ground sobbing after we fail these tests.

(918): Shut your face hole! Be positive! Do I need to get out my affirmation notebook again? I really think it is responsible for turning those midterm grades from D’s to C’s.

(405): Your lofty goals in life put mine to shame. Bravo.

(918): Can I study in your bed? I think my brain could learn a thing or two from your memoryfoam mattress. And laying in a bed reading is as close as I am going to get to sleep for the next 4 days.

(405): Only if you’ve gotten over your “incontinence is cool” phase.

(918): Yeah, I have never been more wrong about anything in my whole life. I just started reading over some of my notes and about 67% of them are artfully drawn lyrics to Modest Mouse songs. Do you have any 8 a.m. finals?

(405): Don’t be stupid … everyone knows 8 a.m. is a myth made up by parents to frighten their children. Taco Bell closes at 4 a.m. in the morning and the days starts again when it reopens at 10 a.m.

(918): I have one. I hope my professor is cool with me wearing my snuggie to class and bringing my caffeine IV.

He didn’t take too kindly to the petition I started to move the final time from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. I told him my reason had a lot to do with sleep and a little to do with happy hour.

(405): And that’s why you can’t spell “class” without “Caitlin.” Well, actually you can … And on that note, you’re ruining my life a little bit right now. Imma run down to the bookstore and get my textbook so I can study.

(918): Holla. I am going to start writing my “my life is in shambles so take pity on me” emails to my professors. Call me after you graduate and we can do a therapeutic burning of all of your school supplies.