Netflix sent me the notification of delivery e-mail Tuesday. But it was more of a love letter than a notification e-mail. It squeezed my little hand and whispered in my ear. “It’s coming on or around Wednesday.” In about 24 hours “New Moon” would be waiting for me in my mailbox. I made a promise to myself that if it came before class then I would skip class to watch it. Please, I beg of you don’t stop reading this article now.
I want to be clear. I wasn’t always this way and I have plenty of excuses for becoming obsessed with The Twilight Saga. Just a few weeks ago I hated this whole world. I thought that the books were abstinence-only sex education propaganda and enforced false ideals of romantic love. I never liked Kristen Stewart, the way she pretentiously huffs and puffs her way around the screen.
Plus, it is in my nature to hate the things that most people love and later deny that anyone, except my own general good taste, contributed to my acceptance of the trend. I am just friendly and agreeable like that.
But during spring break I got really sick when I went home to visit my family. It is not too much of a stretch to say that I was on my deathbed. There I was clinging to what could possibly be my last moments of life and there was “Twilight,” so free, so ready to save me from watching “Couples Retreat.” Maybe in desperate circumstances people would choose to watch some sort of cinematic masterpiece, but I just wasn’t feeling it.
My little brother, being the 17-year-old Casanova that he is, had taken about four girls to see it in theaters so he knew what he was getting in to when he sat down to watch it with me. I, however, did not.
So I watched “Twilight” and all it really did was make me want to watch “ROBSESSED: Inside the Life of Robert Pattinson, All Access Granted.” Naturally, the next step was for me to go see “Remember Me” in theaters. Don’t see it. Wait, no, do see it, don’t watch anything Emilie de Ravin does and then leave 10 minutes before it ends and you will be thoroughly satisfied.
Step No. 2 was moving “New Moon” up to the top of my Netflix queue. It bypassed “Volver,” “Adaptation,” “Death at a Funeral” and “The September Issue” to reach the No. 1 spot. It was like electing the village idiot as the mayor of Netflixville, and I had no regrets.
Fast forward to five days later. I have watched it five times: two times Wednesday, once Thursday, once Friday and once Sunday. I don’t know what real life is any more. I haven’t felt this way since the summer after sixth grade when I went to see Pearl Harbor three times in theaters and cried, audibly, every time.
Let’s get real though; “Twilight” blows so hard compared “New Moon.” Robert Pattinson’s attractiveness was like an oasis of beauty in the desert of crap that is “Twilight.” And in “New Moon” you get to listen to Grizzly Bear and Bon Iver while you watch Edward cripple Bella with even more vampire love. Also, I like mute the sound when Taylor Lautner talks and focus all of my attention on his … face.
Right now I am in “New Moon” limbo. I can’t find it in me to send the DVD back to Netflix, but I also can’t find it me to go buy it. Sure, it has caused me to miss a few classes and wear particularly vampire-esque clothes but in these days of never ending papers, tests, work shifts and existential life questioning moments I needed a little escape. Just moment to watch a girl with limited acting skills fall in love with a boy, with a perfect jaw line, and forget a while that I have one semester left until I graduate with no hopes of finding a job in this economy and even fewer hopes of every getting a boyfriend. Especially after writing this article.
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HappyCork 2 years, 1 month ago
Ya should read the books! Then you will realise obsession! The films take on a whole new meaning when you have read the full story. Oh and Eclipse will be EPIC I'd say!
I usually hate any fiction stories but was offered the first book by a friend and as i had nothing else to read at the time i accepted and started reading it one evening after work. I finished it around 6.00am the next morning. Needless to say i wasn't very productive in work that day. Besides the tiredness I couldnt stop thinking about the story. I went straight out and purchased the other 3 books and devoured them in 5 days! I cant count how many times i have read them since. If i am feeling down or in bad form i will pick one up and it totally lifts my spirits. I am over 30 and am not ashamed to admit that I am a twilightaholic!!!
TheTroll 2 years, 1 month ago
Get a life, Cork.
smallishelfone 2 years, 1 month ago
Have you discovered Trueblood? It's like Twilight only better, with sex and people who aren't jailbait, it's lovely. And there's NINE books, and all of them are well-written and have an actual fully-formed main character as opposed to a whiney empty shell (Bella).