When some distant civilization discovers cultural artifacts from this decade, we can only hope they don’t find “The Bounty Hunter.” Trust me, it doesn’t reflect well on any of us.

Ill-conceived at every turn, “The Bounty Hunter” has a hokey detective thriller bumping uglies with the most excruciating of rom-com conventions, all in a sprawling package that pushes the limits of a two-hour running time. Self-indulgence, meet blistering incompetence.

Gerard Butler stars as Milo, a former cop who’s now paying the rent as a bail bond enforcer. His ex Nicole (Jennifer Aniston) is due in court for a traffic offense that’s minor enough to not really matter, but still somehow requires a $50,000 bail.

And never the twain shall meet. If only.

Crack reporter Nicole is too caught up in getting a key interview for her story on a mysterious suicide to show up to court, and when Milo sees the chance to deliver his former wife to jail for a nice payday, he jumps.

“The Bounty Hunter” could’ve wasted audiences’ time several different ways, and it opts for all of them. The romantic character arcs are as obvious as they come, and the hazy police corruption investigation Nicole is pursuing doesn’t even make sense in movie-land.

Comedic scenes (golf cart into pond, taser-fried neck, lots of being handcuffed to objects) and action scenes (rote car chases and gunplay) both elicit stony-faced silence. These ideas just aren’t interesting, and the scenes are so poorly paced and indiscriminately edited, it wouldn’t matter if they were.

For their parts, Butler and Aniston make for a tenuously convincing onscreen couple, as they both have the haggard look of careers headed in the same downward trajectory.

Aniston’s been traveling that long descent into self-parody ever since “Friends” ended, but Butler, who looked to be a potential big star after “300,” has nosedived much quicker with offal like “P.S. I Love You,” “Gamer” and now this.

“The Bounty Hunter” heads toward its inevitable conclusion where all animosity evaporates and former lovers return to each other, passions renewed. You’ll wish they never met. If only.