Love was not in the air for the original St. Valentine.

Two competing stories attempt to explain the origins of St. Valentine. Each is violent, sad and altogether depressing. I hope I do not ring any bells.

The first was told, naturally, by the Roman Catholic Church. St. Valentine was allegedly martyred by Claudius II for marrying Christian couples. The murder was part of a broader effort by Claudius to persecute anyone found helping Christians during the time.

Geoffrey Chaucer turned St. Valentine from Martyr to Matchmaker during the 15th century when chivalry was en vogue.

The second story comes from the Belarus states. In this account, St. Valentine was dumped by his longtime girlfriend. To express his undying and everlasting love, he stabbed himself in the chest and sent her his still-beating heart, knife included.

This gives new context to giving and receiving heart-shaped cards.

I was surprised to discover the tragic origins to our “Holiday of Love.”

When I went hunting for information on Wikipedia, I expected to read of a legendary lover who died fighting for his true love on or around Feb. 14. I imagined seeing paintings of some buff dude surrounded by beautiful women at a swanky Italian party.

Or maybe St. Valentine was the perfect guy who died tragically trying to deliver flowers to his girlfriend or wife. He was ascending the walls of a castle to reach his love late at night. The event was intended to be a surprise.

Just before he reached her window, his foot slipped on a loose stone. St. Valentine tumbled into the moat below. He was subsequently devoured by crocodiles that guarded every castle in the Middle Ages.

That’s what he would get for trying to surprise her!

Valentines Day has a unique background not only historically but in our own lives.

Each of us can remember making small cards for our grade-school class. You had to be somewhat savvy.

If there was someone you liked, you had to put extra effort into that card. The note went beyond a simple salutation. Instead of “Happy Valentines Day”, the card read, “I really hope you have a Happy Valentines Day!”

This was code for “I like you”. Can’t you tell by the extra six words?

One had to be selective, too, about which Conversation Hearts were given to whom. You didn’t want to give the “Be Mine” heart to the person you did not like. Mixed messages could result in awkwardness at recess.

In middle school, we quit mass-producing cards and focused on that special someone. Usually, this was the person you had been the meanest to for the past few months.

Puberty sucks the life out of common sense.

High school saw the emergence of an actual date. You ask, they say yes, sparks fly. Maybe.

Guys learned what a florist did for a living. We made a reservation at a fancy restaurant like Charleston’s.

We delivered Russell Stover chocolates purchased by a parent because we could not stomach the thought of spending more than a dollar on—for all intensive purposes—candy that did not taste as good as real candy.

Girls got nervous – and overdressed. They got upset when the guy showed up in tennis shoes and a baseball hat. And they knew the guy was never going to be as great as Noah from “The Notebook.”

And we arrive at college, where Valentines Day is both venerated and revered with equal fervor.

People are more likely to go to a party embracing singleness on Saturday, than they are to go on a romantic date.

Those parties usually consist of single people hoping to not end the night single. They spend most of the night talking about what-his-and-her name are doing.

Did he bring flowers? Yes. Take a shot.

Did he take her to a really nice restaurant? Yes. Take a double.

Guys in college pretend that they are blessed to fly solo on Valentines Day. Girls ignore the façade. We would like to be out with someone special just as much as you.

St. Valentine, the Martyr and the Broken-Hearted, would probably find our modern ode to love as laughable. But, at least we try – even if we send a Hallmark card instead of our beating heart.

-Matt Felty is a public administration senior.