About three months ago, I wrote a column for The Oklahoma Daily about Bobo’s Chicken, an Oklahoma City concession trailer.
I thought it would be a column about my experience and reaction to this urban legend.
What it turned into was my first true test as a journalist.
Bobo’s is located on NE 23rd Street and Martin Luther King Boulevard in Oklahoma City, a predominantly black neighborhood.
According to the News 9 Crime Tracker, which pulls data from official police reports, the neighborhood shows higher rates of burglary, assault and other crimes than most other areas in the city.
Though located in a more dangerous part of town, Bobo’s has a reputation for making amazing fried chicken.
I took six friends with me. We went, came back and I wrote my column. It all seemed fine.
But the aftermath was painful and frustrating.
In the column, I described my trip in language that offended many people. Though it was meant to be hyperbole, many people did not appreciate me treating the subject where race was concerned so blithely.
I said there had been a drive-by at Bobo’s in the recent past and that gangsters were drawn there like iron filings to a magnet. I said one of the risks of going there was possibly lying dead in a gutter.
It was all tongue in cheek, but for many it was tasteless. But at the time, I didn’t realize that. I never meant to offend anyone.
I received my first hate mail at around 8 the morning the column was published. It said I was a racist and had no future in journalism.
I thought the judgment was a little extreme. But similar e-mails kept coming in and continued to fill my inbox for the next few weeks.
Coming to terms
That negative reaction made me look inside myself.
Was I racist? Did I believe all the prejudices I was accused of holding? Was I a racist in remission?
I obsessed about these things in the days following the column.
My intention wasn’t to be a racist. I made a huge mistake, a mistake that set into motion all my trials and everything I’ve learned through them.
The next day, I met with my professional writing professor, Mel Odom, who never misses an opportunity to tell his students how much they still have to learn.
“Any time you talk about race as a white male, you’re walking a tightrope,” Mel said. “And as a writer, you’re going to ruffle feathers. And that’s what you did – you ruffled a lot of feathers. What you said didn’t click with the way others see the world.”
From Mel, I learned everyone has prejudices. We grow up with them; we learn them from the media, our schools and our parents.
This doesn’t make them right, but it is nonetheless a fact. And it is a fact that we have to put those behind us as we grow.
Like everyone, I have prejudices when going to new places, especially places that could be dangerous. But unlike most people, my prejudice got printed in a newspaper that is read by thousands of people.
It would take me a long time to fully recover my confidence in my writing, Mel told me. I could either grow from what had happened or close off.
And believe me, I wanted to learn from that first story — I just didn’t know how to go about that yet. I felt like there was nothing I could do to fix it. I just hoped that, in time, people would forget about it and move on.
I hoped I could learn a lesson — never write anything that might make people upset, offend them or make them think.
But, fortunately, that wasn’t the lesson I was supposed to learn.
My change of attitude started with Mel, but someone else, Scott Carter, helped me find a way out.
I know Scott through my professional writing classes. He wrote for The Norman Transcript and now writes for The Journal Record. He has a wall full of well-deserved awards and more than 20 years of newspaper experience.
“You have to go back to that neighborhood and find a story,” he told me. “As a journalist, you’re going to make mistakes. People will hate you and spit on you, so much so that when you come home you can’t do anything but curse them under your breath.
“But you can’t stop. You’ve got to keep writing because the moment you stop writing is the moment you give up.”
Scott and Mel both offered to go with me back to Bobo’s and find another story.
Hoping it would pass
I said I’d think about it.
Several weeks passed. Not a day went by where I didn’t think about going back. I hoped I could avoid it.
I made the task larger than it really was. All I could see were the accusers pointing me out, telling me I was wrong. I had hoped the feelings of guilt, frustration and anger would go away.
But they didn’t. I knew I had to do something about those feelings before they turned into bitterness.
I had to stop blaming others and try to make the best of this. I had to take control.
I got out my phone and sent a text message to Mel and Scott.
We were going back.
The return to Bobo’s
Mel and I pull into the dirt parking lot. It’s emptier than last time, and much colder.
But the trailer’s still there, and the floodlights still push back the night.
I get out and walk to Scott’s car. When he gets out, I expect some advice. But all he tells me is to do my best.
I think that’s all I needed anyway.
I have my reporter’s notebook with a list of pre-written questions. I don’t normally do that, but tonight I don’t want to make any mistakes. But it turns out that I won’t need any of those questions to find the real story.
Strange as it may sound, it feels good to be back, despite the freezing cold and wind. It’s the first cold night of the year, and my breath comes out in clouds. I feel calm and purposeful, like I have the power to push back all that has come against me in previous weeks.
Now, all I have to do is talk to some people who might not be too happy to talk.
“Just do your best,” Scott reminds me.
Bobo’s looks a bit different at 11:30 p.m. than it does at 2:30 a.m. The loud beats and constant yelling from carloads of people are completely absent. The generator has no competition as it rattles and hums beside the trailer.
I walk close to the trailer. The smell of frying chicken hits my nostrils, spicy and warm in the cold air. The grease crackles and spits from the fryers behind the open windows.
My first interview is with Charles Ward, the armed security guard hired by Bobo’s. He stands dutifully by the trailer. Ward says he has worked at Bobo’s for three months. I ask him what it’s like to work here every Friday and Saturday night.
He doesn’t beat around the bush.
“It’s safe,” he says. “People can come and get their chicken and have a good time. They’re not afraid of nothing. I’m not going to let anything happen to nobody ... I’m here for the safety of the people.”
My first trip, I didn’t feel safe. I knew in my head nothing would happen to me. Let’s face it, I was far more likely to die in a car wreck on the way there.
But on this return trip, that anxiety is gone. Any time you go to a new place, there’s that natural anxiety. But now I can appreciate the experience.
Customers
Scott has found a couple of Oklahoma City University students and hands them off to me to interview.
Richard Rare is with his friend Zack Miller, both first timers.
“It’s not a place you’d normally go after 9,” Rare says. “It’s a pilgrimage. This is my first pilgrimage, if you will, to Bobo’s.”
Miller agrees.
“I’ve eaten a lot of chicken, but it’s different from anything I’ve seen before.”
Part of what makes Bobo’s stand out is its unique fried chicken recipe. The cooks smoke the wings before deep frying them. Then they cover them with honey.
It’s the best fried chicken I’ve tasted in the city, and rivals Eischen’s in Okarche for best in the state.
And the seafood is nothing to sneeze at either. The catfish falls apart in your mouth, and the shrimp is the best I’ve tasted this far north from the Gulf.
And coming from the Gulf Coast, I know seafood.
They could cook in a five star restaurant. With its honey-covered spicy fries and sweet pastries, there is not a better or more unique meal after 9 p.m. when Waffle House just won’t cut it. And you can have it at a price that’s anything but five stars.
Miller says Bobo’s character is what makes it stand out.
“You know it’s real,” he says. “It’s a couple guys in a trailer on the side of the road. How much more real could you get?”
Rare and Miller leave, but I have to stay in the cold a little while longer. There are a couple more interviews I need to do.
I get in line and talk to Brichette Reid. She is an OU public relations major and an African-American. I tell her I’m writing a story about the restaurant and want to get her thoughts.
“You’re not that guy, are you?”
They are the words I’ve been dreading for weeks. I tell her that, yes, I am “that guy.”
But when I ask her help to correct the mistake I made, she agrees to talk to me.
“It’s cool,” she says. “It reminds me a little bit of home. I’m from D.C. The area doesn’t scare me or anything.”
Reid says she is excited about tasting the chicken she has heard so much about. Tonight is her first time there.
“I was really hungry after the game, and I wanted to see what they hype was about,” she says. “I’ve been talking about coming for weeks.”
When the interview is over, I’m next in line. The part I’m most nervous about is fast approaching — talking to the owner.
‘The part I’m most nervous about’
I step up, asking if it would be OK to ask questions. He tells me to step to the side and talk to the guy working the fryers. He’s the owner.
I step over. The owner looks tall up in the trailer. He doesn’t look my way. He’s intent on dropping chicken and fries in the bubbling, hissing grease.
“Can I ask a few questions?”
At first, I’m not sure he hears me. I ask again, and he turns. I freeze for a moment when I realize I am face-to-face with the man who has read my previous column and dislikes it greatly.
He says he doesn’t want to talk to me. That hurts, and it shakes my confidence big time.
But I know I can’t back off.
I look him in the eye and tell him why I’m here. I tell him I’m here to do a better job of getting the story, that I’m sorry I got things wrong the first time. I ask him to help me correct my mistake.
His face softens. Still, he says he doesn’t want to comment but appreciates me coming back.
“Don’t feel bad about it,” he says. “You’ve had your time to feel bad.”
I tell him I respect that and thank him. I step back and go to Scott’s car, where he and Mel are taking shelter from the cold. A great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Mel gets back in line with me and buys me the best shrimp in Oklahoma. When we get back to the car, I open the box. I’ve been given three extra shrimp.
When I get in Scott’s car to eat,both he and Mel say they’re proud of me.
“You’ve done something many reporters would be too afraid to do,” Scott says. “You got brass balls, buddy.”
It means a lot, coming from him.
The ‘real story’
After eating and talking a bit, Mel and I drive back to Moore. On the way home, we talk about what I learned.
By going to back to Bobo’s, I found the real story. But little did I know at the time, the real story ended up being my story – the story of my mistakes, facing my fears and growing as a journalist.
It feels good knowing, really knowing, that you have the power to make the best of something, especially when you feel all your power has been stripped away. We kid ourselves that we have no power over bad situations, that we can’t control our fates, that some things are too big. It isn’t true. By going back to Bobo’s, I was able to overcome something I thought beyond my control: my fear that I wasn’t going to measure up as a journalist.
That lesson was something I couldn’t have learned on my own. In a way, I’m thankful for all the adversity. Without it, I couldn’t have learned this invaluable truth.
But I’m more thankful to those who helped me use this adversity to become a better reporter and person.
And to those who helped me see it, I’m eternally grateful.
The Oklahoma Daily is pleased to provide you the opportunity to share your thoughts about this article. We encourage lively debate on the issues of the day, but we ask you refrain from using profanity or other offensive speech, engaging in personal attacks or name-calling, posting advertising, or straying from the topic at hand. To comment, you must be a registered user of OUDaily.com. Thanks for taking the time to offer your thoughts.
You must be logged in to leave a comment. Log in | Register
irishcarbomb 2 years, 4 months ago
mein kampf isn't a bad piece of writing either...
irishcarbomb 2 years, 5 months ago
As I said...I cannot determine the degree to which Kyle is responsible for his own racism. I acknowledge that it is virtually impossible for him to be 100% at fault in that regard.
However, the column written seemingly tries to excuse his actions in several different ways, without ever really acknowledging that he does have a degree of racism and apologizing for it. That, combined with his self-portrayal as a victim of people who were justifiably appalled, is the source of my utter contempt.
nancygwest 2 years, 5 months ago
I am so proud of you sweetheart!:) I always knew you were special. Always "beat to a different drummer" alot like me.I was planning to be a journalist, even did workshops at OU as a jr and sr. Instead i took off to see the world.
Your writing is very insightful, clever, and inspiring.
Keep going for it!
Your aunt,
Nancy West
ougal 2 years, 5 months ago
Akohut - I guess they don't teach you to read too well at this here university because you obviously didn't read the above article clearly.
It's fairly evident Kyle's sorry. He's not trying to act like it didn't happen. He's not trying to defend himself. He's saying he's sorry. And he's explaining his own discovery and growth. You know, like learning from a mistake. Weird, right?
How ridiculous that Kyle would learn a lesson from this. How ridiculous that he didn't stay the same and write more articles like the first one. How ridiculous that you expect him to have stayed the same throughout this entire process.
Please, he's not the one being ridiculous.
sooner161887 2 years, 5 months ago
Of course we need to see Kyle as an unrehabilitated racist!! If we accepted his appology and saw the good in his article we wouldn't be able to harvest self-worth by cutting someone down on the internet and using big, pretentious words so that people would know we're really smart college kids who are obviously way better than the kid who wrote this article. Where else would we find an identity? Oh by the way; good job Kyle, you did the right thing.
irishcarbomb 2 years, 5 months ago
I will preface the rest of what I am about to say with the following: The quality of writing in this column displays a vast improvement over the previous piece.
That being said your attempt to redeem yourself in this article was a misguided parody of remorse at best...and a whining narcissistic parable that displays a staggering obliviousness to the root source of the outrage felt by the vast majority of your reading audience at worst.
I should qualify my position on this by saying that I do think that political correctness has gone WAY to far in this country. If a person refers to themselves as black...I have no problem called them black. If a doctor can medically refer to a "little person" as a dwarf, than I feel no shame in doing the same...
However, your column displayed a degree of racism that, however prevalent in our society, is absolutely revolting to myself, and clearly many others.
Let me help you...you are a racist. The degree to which you can be held responsible for that is impossible to determine for an outsider. However, the outside world can certainly judge you for it. Especially when you make it public in an manner that makes it blatantly obvious to any person with a basic grasp of the English language.
I realize that you did not use the word "black" or any other specific adjective that would denote the race of the "gangsters." But in feeling the need to express that you are "white and naive," in contrast to the "gangsters" whom you feared would descend upon your "soft suburban underbellies" there is an inevitable inference that logic demands.
Pointing out that the "gangsters" were of a different ethnicity than yourself is not considered a form of "hyperbole."
ougal 2 years, 5 months ago
This is extremely well done, Kyle.
irishcarbomb 2 years, 5 months ago
Nobody wants him to stay the same. But people don't want to hear excuses either.
""the neighborhood shows higher rates of burglary, assault and other crimes than most other areas in the city."
"“Any time you talk about race as a white male, you’re walking a tightrope"
"as a writer, you’re going to ruffle feathers. And that’s what you did – you ruffled a lot of feathers"
"It was all tongue in cheek"
"it was meant to be hyperbole"
These sound an awful lot like excuses to me.
irishcarbomb 2 years, 5 months ago
The fact that you acknowledged that you baselessly characterized most of the patrons as criminals is icing on the cake. How did you not comprehend that some people could be offended?
I'll let you in on a little secret. Gangsters are self-interested rational actors too. They don't just go around stabbing people without provocation in front of a large group of witnesses. I can tell you that some of the best fried chicken I've ever had has come from some places in seedy areas much worse than OKC, and I've yet to be shanked or shot for enjoying a meal.
At this point, I really don't know what I find more offensive. The ignorance and racism apparent in your first article. Or this self-serving tale that tries to excuse your prejudice by emphasizing that the area is prone to higher crime rates, or claiming that you were using "hyperbole." I cannot believe that you considered this pathetic attempt to cast yourself as the victim in all of this to be a good idea.
The fears you faced were idiotic, and you have clearly grown far less than you believe from this experience. I would advise sticking to your original plan: Crawl into a hole and hope people forget about all of this.
Sadly, it will take a little longer now that you have reignited the embers of indignance still lit from your previous debacle with the gasoline that is this absolute farce of a column.
whatsherface 2 years, 5 months ago
Excellent job and major props for doing what you did.
ougal 2 years, 5 months ago
No one is saying it's okay. Kyle isn't saying it's okay. True, maybe he didn't realize the offensive nature at first, but he DID see it. Isn't that better than not at all? And who are you to determine what kind of people should be writing for newspapers? But if stupidity and ignorance are the two qualities that don't belong in a news outlet, shouldn't we also be looking at the editors that let the first article run?
saxman 2 years, 5 months ago
Thank you for doing/writing this. Definitely a finals week uplifter.
whatsherface 2 years, 5 months ago
Really? I think they sound like explanations. He's providing the back story and explaining what had happened in the previous article. Why would he be making excuses if this entire article is about Kyle seeing what he did was a mistake and then trying to correct it and learn from it?
Perhaps you're missing this part of the story: "I look him in the eye and tell him why I’m here. I tell him I’m here to do a better job of getting the story, that I’m sorry I got things wrong the first time. I ask him to help me correct my mistake."
That paragraph says exactly what this entire article is about.
ouguy23 2 years, 5 months ago
Good for you Kyle! I'm glad that you went back and faced your fears and that you did not quit writing over this incident. I love Bobo's Chicken and I encourage everyone to go try it.
leimapapa 2 years, 5 months ago
irishcarbomb, you are a racist.
I have no basis for this other than my perception of your writing. I'd feel bad about having that as my only criterion for judging you to be a racist, but you have no problem with doing it so "I feel no shame in doing the same."
You have to admit that Kyle is a "victim" if you will, of his suburban upbringing. He's young and naive and for some reason feels the need to self-identify as white. Of course victim in this sense is not as disadvantaged or sad or "victim-y", etc. as others, but nobody is demanding that you feel sorry for the type of "victim" that he is.
Not knowing this guy and drawing conclusions about his character based only on this set of articles is just plain lazy. Wait, I guess I forgot that a college newspaper article is an absolute window to the soul... my bad.
It's not so much that you drew conclusions about kyle, it's that you felt compelled to condescendingly spout them off on here. I would call you a narcissist and a hypocrite, but that would be giving you the same benefit of the doubt that you give others, so I won't. I'll just chalk it up to stress that you're venting on poor white, naive, kyle here and recommend that you go eat some delicious Bobo's chicken.
b00mer 2 years, 5 months ago
Good writing and interesting evaluation.
akohut 2 years, 5 months ago
Look, this shouldn't have happened in the first place. Anyone who could write an article like this guy's original and not realize how offensive it was does not need to be writing for a newspaper, period. Yeah, he might realize that he's wrong now, but that's only after everyone lost it upon the original's publication. But wait, everyone, he's "learned something" from the incident, so it's OK! That's beside the point. He might have gained perspective, but the incident still shows a tremendously clear picture of this writer's ignorance or stupidity (take your pick) -- two qualities which do not belong anywhere near a news outlet.
OUguy 2 years, 5 months ago
This writing is simply amazing.
I poke, criticize and generally demean everything about this newspaper, but this is different. This is an example of a wonderful column, beautifully detailed with a lesson at the end. This is what columns at The Daily need to focus on. No one cares about the banter between columnists and their over-the-top views on abortion and religion. What we readers want and need is an issue, brought up in a column similar to this and lead from beginning to end, cause to solution.
Beyond the Opinion section, you given a wonderful personal account of your adventure in growing up. It's a great feature Kyle.
This deserves some serious recognition. I hope your peers understand the level at which you've displayed excellence.
localsooner 2 years, 5 months ago
I can safely say that Irish is pretty angry. That's good in some part, because the only way we can really get rid of prejudice is to confront it, and that's what Irish is doing.
However, the tone of the post is a bit extreme in my opinion. I don't think Kyle implied that he's completely past racial prejudices, only that he's working on them. This is the same passive racism that's widely prevalent among white males in our country, even educated progessives like me. It really only deserves this kind of anger if we're trying to ignore it.
I think our society would be a lot better if we admitted that we all harbor prejudices, and work towards eliminating them. Especially for white males like me and Kyle.
Who are we if we don't try?
jfreezy 2 years, 5 months ago
Geez. Now I can't tell ethnicity through the user names, but I'm going to guess that IrishCarBomb (an offensive name in it's own right) is a white person. I just think it's funny how much more white people tend to get offended by this stuff. Now, that said, I didn't read the original article because it was pulled down before I could (which is a shame in itself), but this piece was very well done. Self serving? What writer isn't? A writer is someone who thinks his or her opinions and insights are so valuable that others need to read them, so of course you can expect a degree of that. But what he did with this piece, is send the message that he made a mistake in the first column, but that he is trying to learn from it, and in an effort to do so, decided to write a second piece on the same topic in order to explain his mindset during the first article, and show that, while he may have made a mistake, he is going to keep working. What more can you ask for? Every time we "ruffle some feathers" are we supposed to give up and go hid under a rock? And let's not be so quick to point the accusatory finger. He may have some prejudice, but are you free from it? Is anyone? No. But just because you have some prejudice, doesn't mean you're automatically a racist. So cool it with the racist talk. This was a very well written piece, and highly entertaining. I very rarely read columns this long on the opinion page, because they're usually stupid.
akohut 2 years, 5 months ago
Man, it's not that people "didn't appreciate" what you said in the last article. It's that you used a metaphor that had to do with Africa and predatory animals that was offensive and racist. I think this was a result of stupidity and ignorance on your part rather than racism, but this still doesn't change the fact that it happened. This article isn't an apology so much as it is defense for what you wrote. You were wrong. You should have apologized, not written about the lessons you learned from this incident. How ridiculous. You're lucky you weren't fired.
bootscallahan 2 years, 5 months ago
Man you're a good writer in the first place. Anyone who has been to Bobo's knows it's a shady area. I'm actually ashamed that you let the political correctness get to you, forcing to write this apology column. You were right on with the first one. Screw everyone that got offended, it wasn't a big deal.
ksanders 2 years, 4 months ago
Kyle,
I am so proud of you brother! Being someone that knows you very well--and loves you very much--I can't imagine someone being less racist than you. I think you are so accepting of others differences and that's why you were shocked to realize people perceived you in that way. I am glad you learned through this experience. I hope you chose to ignore unpleasant comments about this well written article. There will always be people who disagree with you and live to tear others down--YOU are better than that. Next time you go to Bobo's let me know. You know I love fried chicken and shrimp--It sounds delicious!
Your loving sister,
Kara
spearce22 2 years, 4 months ago
As a friend of Kyle, I can say that he is not a racist. He's humor might not have been politically correct, but its unfair to judge him based off of one article that he himself has determined as not acceptable. Kyle is a good person who didnt owe anyone an apology. He has learned from his mistakes and treat to show you all that he has grown from this, but in my opinion, some of the readers need to learn from it too. Keep writing and fighting Kyle!
sleephaley 2 years, 4 months ago
ok, so where is BoBo's now, a friend of mine is in search of it and is not having any luck. and now I WANT SOME!
Any help would be great!
1955ALUM 2 years, 4 months ago
I have read all the comments concerning Kyle's article and, I must say, some of you need to get your exercise in another way than jumping to conclusions regarding a person you probably don't even know personally.
Being an older "Sooner", I'll relate to you what it was like at O.U. in the '50s, being a "half breed" (Choctaw and French Jew) and, what my parents told me when I cried about the names I was called (no political correctness in those days). They told me "SHUT UP - SUCK IT UP - AND GROW UP!" I dried my tears, developed a thick skin, and through humor, I've made it just fine.
So, to all of you, when you write comments, read them three times before you click to send them into cyber-space. You may decide your anger has abated and you can delete your rants. If not, then in the words of my parents, I say, "SHUT UP - SUCK IT UP - AND GROW UP!"
kdbp1213 2 years, 4 months ago
political correctness be damned! who is tired of kow-towing to orwellian thought cops???? use your brains, folks. think for yourselves once in a while........
Perkyshai 2 years, 4 months ago
Good food tends to be found in places where you have to step out of your comfortable rut a bit, and growth is typically an uncomfortable experience in and of itself. Insulating yourself with sarcasm and hyperbole is a good way of focusing inward, instead of looking around you and seeing more than what you expected to see - and finding the real story. It's a good lesson to learn sooner rather than later.
Glad the food was good. Planning to go find some myself.
soonercub1 2 years, 4 months ago
Don''t know Kyle West, Mel Odom or Scott Carter personally, but I read this entire piece with full appreciation for each one. As a retired teacher/editor, I am finding that too much writing by today's students shows bad grammar and sentence structure, as well as frequent misspelling. (That isn't limited to journalism majors; it's sadly prevalent everywhere.) Mr. West clearly is a skilled writer. I see a bright future for him if he continues to use his talents properly and maintains balanced thinking. Good luck, Kyle West. And remember, you never can please everyone. Nobody can.