After much self-debate, I have become a Tweeter. Or is it Twitterer?

About two weeks ago, I took the step of entering the 1984-esque Internet community known as Twitter.

At first, I didn’t realize why anyone would want to know what on God’s green earth I was doing, which would probably read something like this:

KatieJParker: Waking up an hour after I set my alarm to realize I haven’t done anything for my project that’s due today. Now picking my nose and figuring out an escape plan. Updated 1 hour ago from web.

KatieJParker: Wondering when I will actually be able to make a living out of this whole “journalism” thing. Updated 10 minutes ago from web.

KatieJParker: @KJPsFriend: We need to drink heavily in celebration of graduating into the worst economy in 100 years and me being stupid enough to choose to do the “journalism” thing. Updated 7 minutes ago from web.

See what I said? I’m not terribly interesting when it comes to the day-to-day monotony. So, why then would anyone want to “follow” me?

Now, two weeks later, I’m still not sure if I have mastered the technique of Twitter perfectly, but I have made some observations.

Day 1: I quickly decided to follow every friend and media outlet’s account. I now feel that I am up to date all current events. I even joined Metropolitan Transportation Authority in New York City’s account, even though I’m not moving to New York City until May.

Now, at any hour, I am alerted about sick customers and changes in subway routes. I also follow The Economist, even though, I have never physically touched the publication in my life. This is fascinating.

Day 2: Why do people I don’t know want to follow me? This is creepy. I decided to change my account to private.

Day 3: I suddenly realized I decided to follow too many things and people, and could not keep up with the several hundred posts flowing across the page every hour. I contemplated deleting several accounts, but I felt that defeated the purpose of Twitter: to be an omnipresent being in other people’s and things’ actions. It is kind of like being God — except, unfortunately, people get to choose what they tell you. So until GodTwitter 1.0 rolls around, this is as good as it gets.

Day 7: I got to see Demi Moore’s butt in a bikini on Ashton Kutcher’s account and read the ramblings of John Mayer. Most of this was trivial, and I suddenly realized how stupid it was that I actually wasted 15 minutes reading that stuff.

Day 10: I decided to make myself an Urban Dictionary and invent the word “Tweemo,” (I’m sure I’m not the first, but for this article I am) which is a noun describing those who tweet about the pedantic things in life (i.e. I’m so annoyed that I have to like do things like live and breathe and stuff).

I have three words for Tweemos: Get over it.

Day 14: I’ve learned the key to mastering Twitter is simply checking and updating the thing constantly.

After two weeks, I still don’t think people are particularly concerned with my choice of a soy latte at Starbucks and preoccupation with searching my nasal cavity for hidden treasure. I do think, however, Twitter is the next step toward generating a way that our generation will hopefully stay more informed as we evolve to Orwell’s Newspeak premonition.

Follow me at KatieJParker.

-Katie parker is a journalism senior.