When is the last time you talked to someone you didn’t know, whether it was that one person you have in all your classes, the random fan shivering in the cold with you at a football game or just the regular person you pass on the street?
I do it all the time.
Sometimes it happens when I’m in line and feel like I have nothing better to do.
But more times than not, people pique my curiosity.
I try to bite my tongue, but just before they walk out of reach or leave, I’ll ask them a question or say something to them.
I think it’s because I see most people as friends, in the loose sense of the word, or potential friends.
While talking to strangers is not the best way for children to live, it’s a habit adults should get into.
This habit of talking to random people makes me look odd when I am in places outside the South or Midwest, but I do it anyway. (Though I did learn to not talk to people as much while on public transit in Washington D.C. for fear of being hit on, proposed to or scaring others).
The benefits of talking or listening to someone you don’t know far outweigh the potential awkwardness, at least for me.
Some of the best experiences I have ever had have involved stepping out of my comfort zone and possibly inconveniencing myself for a few minutes to learn more about someone else.
This happened to me one day when I was running late meeting a friend for coffee at Cafe Plaid.
I let her know about my delay, which was entirely my fault.
I grumpily and slowly made my way out of my bed, then out of my house and finally down the street.
On my way, I saw a woman puttering away in her garden with a dog.
I was walking fast, as I normally do, but I smiled at her and said good morning while walking by. She rose from her gardening to say hello back and then approached me.
Looking back, I realize I had two choices. I could have kept walking, or I could have stopped.
In reality, I had no choice. It would have been rude to keep walking.
I spent the next 10 minutes or so listening to this lady speak of her happiness about the results of the election and a whirlwind summary of what she’s experienced in her life.
Listening to her didn’t cost me anything but time.
I gained insight into a woman’s life I more than likely never would have come across.
We were from different ethnicities, age groups and regions, yet for those few minutes, we shared our time and participated in a conversation — both of which are two of the simplest and easiest gifts you can give someone.
During the course of our time together, she gave me at least five hugs, called me a beautiful soul and blessed me. Those few minutes changed the tone of my day.
I’m so glad I stopped.
My friend was OK with the fact that I was late, especially after I shared my experience with her.
Sometimes my friends are shocked by how many random stories and interactions I have with people, but they happen so frequently because I’m willing to talk or listen to just about anyone.
Anyone can have a beautiful experience with a stranger.
The poet John Donne wrote “No man is an island, entire of itself.”
Human contact is important, especially around the holidays, when so many people are away from their loved ones.
Next times you’re in line at the store, talk to the person at the cash register.
Chances are, you’ll learn more information about that person than really necessary, but you’ll also have given them a small gift.
That gift is not the act of talking, but rather the taking of time to connect with another human that is the important thing.
If we take time to listen and observe more than we talk, who knows what good awaits us?
Kayle Barnes is a professional writing senior. Hercolumn usually appears every other Tuesday.
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JWade 3 years, 6 months ago
this whole column sounded dirty.
well done, Kayle.