With roughly four weeks to go before the end of the semester, I am starting to feel the pressure.
Not from studying or exams or finding a job for the break, though. I’m feeling the pressure to be engaged.
It seems like at least once a day I hear of someone else getting engaged.
My regular Facebook distractions now consist of looking to see who is the latest couple to make the announcement, and, more importantly, to see who has posted engagement pictures (and figuring out whose are the best).
It’s almost like a game between my friends, and I now look to see who knows the most ladies who have been able to snatch that always-coveted diamond ring.
And with so many of these rings walking from class to class around campus, I am beginning to wonder: Why don’t I have a ring on my finger?
Just kidding. I know exactly why I don’t: I’m 19. And a sophomore in college.
And I have yet to explore the world.
I have yet to meet many people outside of my high school or college bubbles.
I don’t see the advantage to making that kind of lifelong commitment so soon.
With a life expectancy reaching nearly 80, how can anyone make a 60-year contract after having only garnered two decades worth of experience?
During a recent ladies’ luncheon, my friends and I decided there were only a few reasons behind the desire to be asked that special question so quickly.
The first of these is quite easy and obvious to guess: sex.
I bet you are thinking, “Wait a minute, doesn’t this crazy lady know you can have sex without getting married?”
Yes, I am well aware of that bit of information.
In fact, sometimes I feel like I should tell this to all of my engaged acquaintances, just in case they are for some reason uninformed.
A friend pointed out to me that, with the many young people committed to remaining abstinent until marriage due to either personal beliefs or parental pressures, early marriage is a quick way to get to the good stuff without breaking vows of singlehood celibacy.
The second reason as to why people choose to wed so young is legal reasons.
Married people can claim each other for benefits, get a slight tax break and can get special perks related to a spouse’s job.
With healthcare as it is in this country, who wouldn’t love to buddy up with someone of the opposite sex (I’m not being a hater here, but this is still the only option in Oklahoma) for a chance to have better insurance?
But really, that sounds too boring to be a valid answer for college students.
We are thinking about degrees, drinks and about what I mentioned in the previous paragraph, not about paperwork and fine print.
My third guess as to why we teens and younger 20-somethings get hitched is security.
It probably feels nice to be able to say, “Oh, I don’t need to worry about finding someone to settle down with before I reach 30 because I am already married.”
Sometimes I do have nightmares of myself as an old lady with no one to love me but a few dozen cats and a plasma screen TV. Maybe I am wrong.
Maybe people aren’t getting married for the sole reason of fulfilling these holes and others like them in their single lives. Maybe two people can find true love before they have even had a chance to explore life and to figure out who they really want to be when they grow up.
Maybe I’m just jealous.
Who knows?
But I do think it is important to at least wait a while to make sure your life-altering, long-ass-lasting commitment is the right choice.
So, I want to say congratulations to all you engaged or married ladies and gentlemen out there in the OU world.
But for now, I think I will appreciate your choice from the outside and be content marking the “single” box on my taxes while not worrying about losing anything as expensive as a diamond ring down the sink.
Rosie Sontheimer is a public relations and women’s studies sophomore. Her column appears every other Thursday.
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kdbp1213 3 years, 6 months ago
Why not get married? You can get divorced quickly and cheaply. There's no stigma anymore, too. We have a divorce-happy society. Nobody pays attention to life-long committments anymore........
JWade 3 years, 6 months ago
Settle down there, sophomore. You went to college to get away from that mentality.
Worry about marriage when you reach 30, and in the mean time, keep open to romance but thank god that you haven't been suckered into it.