Lady Gaga

“The Fame”

Interscope Records

1/5 stars

Lady Gaga reminds me of those pseudo-groups that make fake music videos on the Disney Channel, or maybe that annoying singer from the recent 7-11 commercial (“I want my icy drink from 7-11!”). But after realizing that Lady Gaga is actually a real performer, I was comforted only by the mere fact that if someone like this can release an album on a major label, then this truly is a great country.

Lady Gaga’s dance-pop style and glam-infested lyrics are in the same vein as recent electronic-pop superstars like Madonna, Timbaland, Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani — only worse. My 12-year-old cousin wouldn’t even be fooled into liking Lady Gaga, and she loves the Jonas Brothers. With such profound lyrics like “Let’s have some fun this beat is sick/I wanna take a ride on your disco stick,” however, I wouldn’t let my cousin listen to it anyway.

Maybe one good use for this record is a way to play fetch with my 17-year-old dog Lucy, who desperately needs the exercise. I gave “The Fame” one star only because the first track had a promising beat, but failed miserably as soon as she began to sing.

— Tyler Branson/The Daily

Various Artists

“Repo! The Genetic Opera” Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Lionsgate Music

2.5 out of 5 Stars

A wildly flailing attempt at achieving cult movie notoriety, “Repo! The Genetic Opera” is a horror musical starring Alexa Vega, Paul Sorvino, Sarah Brightman and Paris Hilton, and directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, the man behind three of the “Saw” films.

Set 50 years in the future, the film tells the story of widespread organ failure across the globe. The biotech company, GeneCo, is a seeming savior, but when transplant patients can’t pay for their new organs, the company sends out repo men to take them back.

The soundtrack is a darkly gothic affair, with only the palest shades of opera thrown in, thanks mostly to crossover star Brightman. It’s clear where this music wants to belong – right alongside “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and “Sweeney Todd” – but compared to those theater classics, this musical just feels hollow.

Few of the actors possess anything more than mediocre singing voices, and the Evanescence sound-alike guitar riffs give “Repo!” the feel of a cheap knockoff. If the film becomes memorable at all, it certainly won’t be on the strength of its music.

— Dusty Somers/The Daily

The Knux

4/5 stars

“Remind Me in 3 Days”

E Pluribus Unum

Hip-hop duo The Knux represent the change that Obama keeps talking about. Their debut album, “Remind Me in 3 Days,” is a genre-bending attempt to grab the decaying corpse of mainstream hip-hop by its diamond chains and violently pull it back into validity.

The beats are high-speed, innovative and energetic, with throwbacks to the classic hip-hop sounds of De La Soul. But The Knux also mesh together the sounds of Outkast, indie guitar work reminiscent of The Strokes and hooks catchy enough to make people like me attempt to dance.

Originally from New Orleans, The Knux consists of brothers Krispy and Rah Almillio, who write their own lyrics, make their own beats and play their own instruments. If that doesn’t blow your mind, listen to “The List,” Cappuccino” and “Bang! Bang!,” and tell me it doesn’t make you want to use your 50 Cent records as firewood this winter.

— Tyler Branson/The Daily

The 88

3.5/5 stars

“Not Only ... But Also”

Island Records

For a band that’s only released three albums, The 88 sure have popped up all over the place. The three-piece from Los Angeles has seen its music featured in movies (“You, Me and Dupree,” “Failure to Launch,”) TV shows (“Grey’s Anatomy,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “Gossip Girl”) and commercials (Sears, Target.)

“Not Only ... But Also” is the band’s first album on major label, and like many other major debuts, it’s just an extra shiny version of the band’s previous work.

It’s not hard to figure out why The 88 has had enormous amounts of music placement – their piano-driven pop-rock is catchy and ephemeral, perfect for culling 30-second clips.

Still, lead singer’s Keith Slettedahl’s voice doesn’t sound like it’s been produced into oblivion, and there’s enough musical variation on the record to make listening to more than 30 seconds enjoyable enough.

— Dusty Somers/The Daily

Tom Gabel

4/5 stars

“Heart Burns”

Sire Records

Tom Gabel, frontman in the punk band Against Me!, actually started the band as a solo act over a decade ago, but Gabel’s “Heart Burns EP” is his first official solo release. It’s a decidedly different turn from Against Me!’s work – a mostly acoustic set that even has harmonica thrown in on the standout track “Anna is a Stool Pigeon.”

Gabel must have some latent folk aspirations, given the simple arrangements and political undertones of “Heart Burns,” but, surprisingly, it’s a good look for him.

Gabel’s voice is a total contrast to the androgynous drones that populate much of modern folk music, and the sharp edge it packs beside his acoustic guitar is a punk/folk fusion that deserves more than a 20-minute EP.

— Dusty Somers/The Daily

"A Cabbage Patch Christmas"

Parker Brothers Music

Cheese factor: 5/5 stars

This week's obscure Christmas album is 1984's "A Cabbage Patch Christmas." The LP cost only $3, but that amount is nowhere near the money I'll need for therapy after having listened to it.

Traditional Christmas carols like "Deck the Halls" and "Best Time of the Year" make up side one, but side two consists of original songs about Christmas that appear to be sung by the Cabbage Patch Kids themselves.

This means that high-pitched, cartoonish voices accompany the Broadway-style production of each and every song, making it not only annoying, but truly terrifying. I can't imagine listening to this even as a child, because the voices remind me of something evil and malicious, or just downright weird.

Woven through the album are slick marketing strategies that tell children about the newest line of Cabbage Patch Kids toys. Produced by Steve and Tom Chapin, brothers of musician Harry Chapin, "A Cabbage Patch Christmas" speaks volumes about consumerism, the "real" meaning of Christmas and why children from the '80s are so strange. It also scared the hell out of me.

Don't play it at your Christmas parties. Nobody will get the irony, and many may leave early.

— Tyler Branson/The Daily