Sooner Country has much to be merry about entering the Christmas holiday.

Our football team is one victory away from South Beach. Gas is cheaper than milk. And every county in our state voted for Sen. John McCain for president.

Of course, nothing dampens holiday cheer more than upcoming finals.

I don’t want to mention that our bah-humbug administration annually robs us of a Dead Week. Nothing personifies the Christmas spirit more than a quiz three days before the final. That’s like letting an 8-year old watch Bad Santa. You just don’t do it.

But all is not lost. Buried far beneath is a list as rewarding as Santa’s of things to do next week. And, unlike his, my list does not discriminate based on behavior.

10. Watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Get a big group of friends, warm some eggnog, and laugh as Uncle Lewis lights that fateful cigar.

For good measure, bring gifts to exchange. Animals, green Jello and bonus-hating bosses are preferred.

9. Make a Christmas card with your roommates.

Pick something festive that you can send to relatives with a sense of humor. Photos of OU/Texas weekend tend to capture everyone in rare form. Mug-shots or newspaper clippings of the police record from The Daily earn extra points for bravery.

8. Tell that special someone how you feel.

Christmas is a good time to break the news to your semester crush.

Handfuls of guys refute this theory — Not only does this mean one must spend money on a date, but also on a Christmas present.

Ignore these financial Scrooges. It is best to divulge the secret under strategically-placed mistletoe.

7. Hang a wreath on the grille of your car.

Only once a year can someone legitimately fasten a living organism to their automobile. I suggest you take advantage.

6. Request stimulus checks from the university.

OU President David L. Boren would see his approval ratings launch into the triple-digits if all students were given $500 stimulus checks heading into the break. He could call it the Boomer Bailout.

No one can spend money faster than college students. We could single-handedly “jolt” Norman’s economy. Or, at the very least, Campus Corner’s.

5. Give Sooner tight-end Brody Eldridge a hug.

The unsung hero of the offense caught his first touchdown pass, or any pass for that matter, against Oklahoma State last weekend.

Coaches have always called Eldridge one of the team’s most indispensable players. But, instead of paving the way for Demarco Murray or protecting Sam Bradford, Eldridge put his own points on the board.

4. Watch the Jenks-Union 6-A state championship football game.

For the past 12 years, one of these powerhouses has gone home with the gold ball.

The west side of the state has not seen a 6-A championship since Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy was in his 20s.

Every game goes down to the wire. This is the best, and cheapest, excitement on a Friday night.

3. Pay your bursar bill.

Folks, we are entering the home-stretch here.

Parents tend to be disappointed when you don’t receive your diploma because of any outstanding balance with the university. Inevitably, this could lead to an investigation as to where that money actually went.

Expect coal in your stocking at this point.

2. Throw or attend a tacky Christmas party.

Everyone does this every year. And they should. These are the most fun fiestas of the semester. Hunt down a Frosty sweater vest. Throw on a Santa Hat. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights. However you prepare, just make sure you are there.

1. Send the University of Texas a consolation gift.

This should be a real gift from depths of your crimson heart. I recommend hiring a banner plane to circle Texas’ bowl game with- the following inscription: “2. OKLAHOMA .935 3. TEXAS .922. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Don’t you love messing with Texas?