Recently I have become fascinated with online communities and what they do for those living in them. I have a Facebook, a Xanga and, most recently, a Myspace. For me, this is a lot to juggle. I was talking to a friend in my hometown this weekend who told me about how he had been dating this girl for a few weeks. I was shocked. When did all this happen? When I asked, he got upset --genuinely pissed off. His verbal response was, You would know if you read my blog! All my friends know!

I replied with, Well, I spend my time doing real things! I dont have time to sit and read everyones blog. Is it so hard to send me an e-mail, pick up the phone or just come over?

Apparently, it is too hard. And so begins the use of the online community instead of one with physical, human interaction. I used to think of it as a way of avoiding people. I sit next to people in my classes all day long and hardly ever speak to them, but its nothing to Facebook someone who has that class to find out what we did on a day I missed. This is about as far as I have the time or energy to take this. I used to feel like people using these online communities were doing much more than me and my Facebooking for knowledge.

And really, they are, but not in the gross, pimple-faced, antisocial, angry-with-the-world way you might think. I know because I was once guilty of this stereotypical thinking. Instead, the people who are using these sites religiously are a family. They live on different blocks: Xanga Drive, Facebook Avenue, Myspace Blvd., but they all want the same things --to feel happy and safe and secure in their surroundings. I have found, having all three, that many of my neighbors are the same people from neighborhood to neighborhood. They tend to have the same information on all these sites and all the same friends, but there are differences. Facebook offers little freedom, where as Xanga and Myspace allow people to say whatever they feel. They vent about hating their jobs, cry about problems with their best friends, begin, carry on and end fights with their most frustrating enemies, fall in love, etc.

Anything you can do in person you can do in these communities without most of the awkwardness that one finds when these activities are carried on in person. Even though I live in the community, I feel I still will never fully understand. There are those who get it and make it all work and those who dont. I feel like the bad neighbor because instead of always Facebooking or leaving messages on Xangas and Myspaces, I pick up the phone and call. And, as a good friend pointed out, Im not keeping up with other peoples lives. Im not a regular reader of blogs, Xanga entries, or profile updates, so Im the douche, the bad friend, the reject.

They all have each other to comfort them when things go wrong, when things suddenly change from being in a relationship with so and so from such and such, to being in an open relationship with them, to being single and looking for random play. These communities are like the therapists we all need and cant afford, and I think Im going to have to get involved before my neighborhood watch kicks me out.

Lesson Learned: Love, happiness, security and freedom are only a click away.

Jillian is a sociology sophomore who appreciates the lovely people on Facebook who compliment her articles...but the stalking makes her nervous...she knows you said that one day she would back and laugh at that restraining order...but no...still not funny.
hello there & you too