Being the astute and conscientious columnist I am, it is my duty to keep my finger firmly on the pulse of this fine university: to know its comings and goings, its ambitions, its passions and its fears.

I have heard rumblings of discontent on campus. They rise like the low, throaty roar of distant thunder, or, if you can believe that History Channel special, like the stampeding of ghostly bison herds, unable to rest in peace after their wanton and capricious slaughter at the hands of the White Man.

Like those bovine of yore, the OU populace is ill at ease. Listen carefully and you will hear the voices expressing their disgruntlement. The football team isn't quite up to snuff, some say. Others request, nay, demand the return of the Cate Center convenience store. All are shocked and appalled that OU does not have anything even remotely resembling a South Asian Studies program.

We all have our reasons to be dissatisfied with one thing or another. In my humble yet accurate opinion, the absence of a South Asian Studies curriculum alone is sufficient cause for the entire campus to languish like a pale and pining pre-Raphaelite maiden.

Especially as we near the semester's half-way mark and begin to sense midterms hanging by a hair over our heads, it can be easy to take on a negative outlook and perhaps fantasize about all the places we'd rather be than here. Like Antarctica or prison, for instance.

But Boomer freakin' Sooner, people. Though the velvet chaise lounge of self-pity and dissatisfaction may beckon, we are made of sterner stuff than this. Let's not forget all the things that are right with OU.

The other night, I was thumbing through the Student Code, as is my wont, before drifting off to sleep. After enjoying the light-hearted wit of titles one through nine (my favorite is number eight on "Distribution of Information, Solicitation, Proselytism," a.k.a. the Preacher Gary Provision) I passed over the dry description of Title 10 (Student Activities) to the titillating Title 11: Housing.

If you think Desperate Housewives is juicy, you should read Title 11.

I'll leave it to you to search out the more risqu? bits for yourself and share the provision that particularly caught my attention this time through. To wit: the information on fines laid out in Table One of Title 11.3.

I know campus-dwellers all live in constant spleen-wracking fear of citations. Beneath this fear seethes righteous indignation and fury. "Another tyranny of the system," we cry.

We are, after all, 18 years old. We should be treated as responsible adults. If we want to fill our closets with cheap booze, invite over a hooker or two and steal all the ceiling tiles to boot, well, that's our own business as free-born Americans.

Being a sweet little straight-laced nerd myself, I have little interest in booze, hookers or even ceiling tiles. What did irk me is the prohibition of pets in the dorms. Then I realized that perhaps I was just looking at the situation from the wrong angle.

Table 11.3 tells me the first violation of the pet policy carries a charge of $15, the second boasts $30 and the third violation costs $45.

That's really not bad if you think about it. For the low, one-time fee of $90, OU will allow you to have three pets -- say a lion, an alligator and a ferret -- to keep you company in the dorms.

If I'm not mistaken, that's much lower than what any off-campus landlord would charge. In fact, if you sealed the inside of a desk drawer and filled it with fish and maybe a frog or something, I bet the powers that be would let you count it all as a single pet and only charge you once.

So, you see, it's really just a matter of believing the glass is half full. Let's remember this as we march first into this weekend's football game and then into midterms. Things are never as bad as they seem, if viewed in the right light.

Besides, it's been scientifically proven that a cheery attitude will have no adverse effects whatsoever on the football team's pass-completion rate.

--Andrea DenHoed is a letters and political science sophomore. Her column appears every other Wednesday, and she can be reached at dailyopinion@ou.edu.
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