Hallows Eve is quickly approaching. You have tons of parties lined up, but sadly, you are stumped on costume ideas. Its too late to visit the ransacked Wal-Mart costume aisle unless you want to fight a scrappy six-year-old for the last Harry Potter costume again. And your grand idea last year to proclaim yourself the first adjective that came to mind when people asked what you were didnt fare as well as planned. Apparently, horny and inanimate object-humping drunk are not good costumes for mixed company.



By now, you may even be scrambling for something to wear. Costume rentals are great if you have $50 laying around for something you can just wear once. For the rest of us, thrift stores, friends and relatives, dumpsters, and even our own closets present more value-friendly solutions. Here are a few ideas for costumes that are easy to find and, most importantly, cheap.



Boy Scout



Dress as a scout, and youll be prepared (Im sorry, its obligatory to mention the damn motto) for a night of Halloween fun. Boy scout uniforms are readily available at most thrift stores. This is an especially cool costume for girls -- a boys medium or large will fit women with a small to average sized bust. Add a pocketknife or a compass to your costume, and you may just be the handiest person at the party.



Points added ifyou sew on some merit badges.

Points taken away ifyou discriminate against non-Christians and homosexuals like the real Boy Scouts.



Elderly Person



You too can dabble in nursing home chic. Muumuus, high-waisted pants, a disturbing amount of Vicks VapoRub these things can either be borrowed from your older relatives or purchased from your local thrift store. Top your costume off with a pair of large, secondhand frames, panty hose rolled down at the ankles, and a cane or walker. This is preferable for anyone needing an excuse to wear comfortable shoes or to corner total strangers to ask if they have had a bowel movement today.



Points added if you find a way to tap into that AARP lobbying money.

Points taken away if you use your costume as an excuse to crap your pants later in the evening.



Prom Queen/King



Have any old formal dresses or tuxedos in your closet? Put those to good use by combining them with your rightful tiara or crown. For the gory approach, you can splatter your prom finest with (preferably) fake blood, wield a weapon of some kind, and keep repeating over and over, You still want to give me a [expletive deleted] swirly?



Points added ifyou prepare a heartfelt speech to read to all your peers.

Points taken away if you end up knocked up by the history teacher during senior year, drop out of high school to work at a Dennys, and end up bitter and alone with your thrice-daily martini like most prom queens.



Two-headed Monster/ Conjoined Twins



Double your Halloween merriment by simply attaching another head to your shoulder. Just draw a face on a paper bag, fill the bag two-thirds full with newspaper, gather at bottom, and fasten securely with safety pins.



Points added if you get extra crafty and add a third head.

Points taken away if you make a major life decision based on a hallucinated discussion you had with the wise being on your right shoulder.



Clique



This idea is perfect if you have a large group of lazy, conformist friends. Have everyone dress in similar outfits to go out on the town. I suggest all-black because most people own an entire outfit of black clothing and because it looks badass, like ninjas.



Points added if you have an identifiable enough uniform that people recognize you as apart of that group even when you are not all standing together.

Points taken away ifthats how you and your friends would dress anyway.



For more uninspired costume ideas, check out these sites:



Costume Idea Zone

Homemade Halloween Costume Ideas

The Holiday Spot

The Bridge School -- a costume site for the wheelchair-bound or for people who want an excuse to sit down all Halloween



Genevieve Rice is a professional writing senior. She plans to be a flapper and to not end up in a brawl with another intoxicated sexy witch this Halloween.

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