Now, I rolled outta me bed this morning, slight headache from the night before. Course, I always had to have a wee bit more to drink on a Wednesday, being that it twas a rather long day and especially as I'd had a run in or two with an angry bloke from the mainland and on top of tha- I had to give directions to a couple yanks here for holiday- the whole lot of them are cowboys and gangsters. I had a few of me relatives travel across the pond back in the last famine when the potatoes were running low and we had damn near nothin to eat except a couple goats and a sheep or two. Sheep is never good eatin.



On with me story before it gets to be gloomin time...



As I made me way to the kitchen, I realized I wasn't neer tipsy enough to start the day, but, recognizin the need for a good, well balanced meal, I poured me a bowl of cereal, and, pushin the milk aside grabbed what whiskey I had left in tha fridge and poored it ontah the cereal. Though I have tremendous respect for the little folk and their enterprises, I had never liked marshmallows much, and chose a simpler cereal. However, that little fellow, god help him keeping that tasty cereal from those kids - you always want something from the little folk, be it their delicious cereal or their pot of gold.



I had gotten a day offa work, being I had had to travel to Dublin twa this week on account'a me job. I opened me door, a young lad was playin the pipes down the way. It was almost ten, a good a time as any to head to the pub. I noticed a couple other lads runnin around lookin for shamrocks. I started on me way, wanderin this way and that down the road, when I heard that fearful cry of tha banshee. Nay, that will put fear in yer bones, so I ran, oh did I run, seemed like I ran from Ulster to Dublin. Finally, that nice harp and waving flag greeted me outside my favorite pub. I walked up just as a man was being thrown thraw the window of the place. Poor McHannis, he never could take that much of the drink and was always picking a fight he couldna win. I tasseled his red hair a bit before I walked in through the door, chuckling as I yelled at O'Brien the barkeep to get be a pint of Guinness to start out. Ah, that black beer, taste of the emerald isle itself. Bonnie Eire, oh how I love ye and yer people. Already a band was in full swing. The barmaid, oh would I like her to see me leprechaun, she passed me a smile and a wink, oh with that red hair, what a fiery lass she was. Believe me, that "kiss me I'm Irish" statement has more meanin than you coulda believe.



Course, ye can never get a lass to come home with ya, without asking her to dance. I took the lady's hand and, jumped out into the center of the pub. The music wailing and the pub rattlin as we danced and danced. Jokes and laughing, what an Irish day in the pub. Fiddles and pipes, music laughter and jokes, oh all through the night. It'd be dark again before anyone even gave it a thought. Then it started to rain. She smiled politely and hadta leave, apparently she had a job here and O'brien wouldn't stand her dancing with the customers all night. Outside it had started raining; it did that a lot out here. Wasn't too warm either. But my lord was it green here, plenty green. Big stone towers all throughout. The fairy folk were flyin about, at least, by whatever number a pints and shots I'd had by that time, fook I'd spent damn near 12 hours in the pub today on my day off.



It was then that he came in. Man was he burly, from the hielans o Scotland he musta been - bushy and huge, kilt waiving about in the wind. He stood their opposite ta me, and you knew, it twas gonna be a clash o' titans. Now, no one can out drink the Irish, only that come close is our brother gaels, the Scotsmen. He was already pullin over a table - the bat was cheering - apparently I had quite the reputation, even across the way in the land of lochs. I looked in his eyes and picked up me glass, he picked up his. We began to drink, and we drank and drank. Refill after refill. I yelled for more, a little of the king's English, a little of our Gaelic tongue. My eyes were getting a wee blurry, and I couldn't quite tell if I was drinkin against a hielanman or a bear in a kilt. He was already shouting about where I had gone off to and how a leprechaun had gotten in me place. Laughin all the way his chair tipped over and he fell. I jumped up on the table, at least I think I made it up to the table and burst into a long Irish ballad, dancing a jig and singing about me glorious victory over the hieland bear.



Oh and did I dance tha night awa' after that. As the sun poored across the moor onto me bed, I awoke with a smile. I rolled over, knowin me blushin' bar maid would be there. I was greeted by a great bearded smile of a half drunken hung over son of a haggis in a kilt and me barmaid was scarce to be seen. Now, I dun know quite what happen, or quite how. Tha however, tis for another day.

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