At first I just didn't get it. I couldn't figure out what appeal a relatively small town state university held for a man who had spent such a large portion of his adult career playing "powerball" on Capitol Hill.

And then, last week, the fog began to lift. In a vain attempt to sort out some type of reasonable schedule for the spring semester, I saw the proverbial light. Of course, I thought, smacking myself in the head just like in the V-8 commercials, it made perfect sense. We, as humans, are always drawn to the familiar, that which makes us feel most comfortable. So there it was, the answer right under my streamlined little nose the whole time. What brought Boren back to a collegiate environment? A cozy nemesis that is as familiar to politicians as Mary Matalin and James Carville's incessant banter. Bureaucracy! Bureaucracy called David Boren home.

Think I'm over the top on this one? Well, think again. I defy any undergraduate to refute the fact that during the school year they've encountered one of the following scenarios:

GETTING ADVISED OR NIGHTMARE ON ASP STREET

You go in with the best intentions. Sure, you might be a little strained trying to balance 16 hours and a part-time job, but you're organized. You can handle it.

Then you hear it: "I'm sorry. That class isn't offered this semester."

Of course not. You try to refrain, but the temptation is too great, so you ask. You know better. You can see what's coming, but you just can't help yourself.

"Why isn't it offered this semester?"

"I don't know."

AAARRGGHH!!!

TRANSFERRING CREDITS OR HOW CAN WE SUCK THE MOST MONEY OUT OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT?

You've paid for and completed the courses. You even get decent grades. And your only request is to see them printed on an official OU transcript. You idiot. You actually thought it was going to be that painless?

"I'm sorry. That class won't transfer."

They've already lured you in. At this point, it's just a formality. Go ahead and ask. "Okay, why won't it transfer? It's almost an identical course."

"It doesn't meet our requirements."

"But it's practically the same class! Why not!!"

"I don't know."

Of course not.

THE PINK SLIP OR YOU CAN'T GET IN THERE FROM HERE

A word to the wise: if you need a pink slip for a class, make sure you're wearing Nikes because your ass is going to go to at least three different buildings in the quest for an elusive signature. Finding the Holy Grail would be an easier task. Then, in the
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