One smokes; the other has allergies. One is a night owl; the other, an early riser. Silence is necessary for one to study; the other listens to music all night.

And there's that filthy bathroom.

On a tight college budget, many students have roommates. Whether they start out as strangers or friends, inevitably they'll have differences.

Sometimes, you just have to tough it out.

There have been a few good fistfights in the residence halls. But Jim Kitchens, who has been a Walker Center RA for three semesters, said noise, neatness, sleeping hours and differences in personalities or background are far more common problems.

Although none of them ever came to blows, Quan Hoang, Kathryne Bodholdt and Amy Spears say they have had such cohabitation problems.

- Hoand, health/sports sciences junior, moved out after living for more than a year in a residence hall with a roommate he said was exceedingly messy.

Hoang said he liked his roommate, but they just had different ideas of cleanliness.

"His idea of cleaning was throwing his clothes anywhere that wasn't my area," Hoang said.

- Bodholt, a psychology and sociology sophomore, also moved to another room. She said she and her roommate, whom she didn't know before they moved in together, couldn't work out their personality conflicts.

"They were mainly superficial differences, things I think we could have gotten past," Bodholt said.

"I felt really guilty about it for a long time."

- But moving in with someone you know doesn't ensure compatibility. Electrical engineerin junior Amy Spears moved in with someone she'd known well for two years.

"I made the mistake of rooming with my best friend," she said. "When we got to college I think I really changed a lot... It really kind of tore us apart." Spears eventually moved out.

She said she thinks they would still be friends if they hadn't lived together.

Most roommate problems are aggravated by a lack of communication, said Herbert Spencer, a psychologist in the Counseling and Testing Center.

"People are not adequately listening to each other or are not communicating to their roommates their thoughts and feelings about how things should be handled," Spencer said.

Bodholt said things may have turned out differently for her and her roommate if she had spoken up when she was frustrated. She said she began avoiding the situation and didn't spend much time in her room.

"It was mainly a lack of communication," Bodholt said. "By the time that I was worried enough to voice my opinions, she had already gone past that. She didn't want to talk ro resolve it at all."

So, Bodholt moved out.

Hoang, however, said he was very clear in expressing his frustrations to his roommate. He said his roommate just never realized how bothersome his messiness was.

"Communication helps to a certain extent, but only if you have someone who is understanding of the other person's needs," he said.

Jenni Pennekamp, a second-year residence adviser in Walker Center, said the environmental change from home to campus is enough to spur conflicts.

"It's a big transition, coming from home to an 11-by-13 foot room with two girls and sharing a bathroom with four," Pennekamp said. "People are not used to sharing a small room with someone else - most of them they don't even know very well. They get tired of being around each other."

Spencer said students sometimes expect their roommates to behave or react as their families did, or expect them to read their minds. Sometimes, the central issue is that roommates are not assertive enough with one another, Spencer said.

"Most of them are really guilty of trying to be such nice guys," he said. "They think, 'Well, if I'd be more flexible, if I try to meet the other person's needs, then they'll want to do the same, too.'"

He said such people are often shocked to discover they are harboring resentments. He suggested assertiveness training groups offered by Counseling and Testing.

Bodholt said she should've stood up for herself, but she didn't want to make things worse.

"Some think it's more polite to not say anything - if you ignore it it will go away," she said. "If something bothers you, you don't have to attack them. You can just tell them."

Spencer agreed that it's possible to defend yourself without being nasty.

"If you feel you're being infringed upon, you need to communicate with your roommate clearly and distinctly without calling names," he said.

RAs recommend using the roommate surveys in the community living handbook. The surveys question residents' preferences concerning smoking, cleanliness, study habits and other concerns and can help roommates determine what is acceptable. They also said that moving out should be a last resort.

Spencer recommended compromise.

"I think, in some ways, the Golden Rule is about as good as any," Spencer said. "You need to treat your roommate with courtesy, but you also need to treat yourself with self-respect."